Mom and Son Day

Just a quick note to let you all know, I took the day off of work to hang out with my mom all day. We never get to hang out so I am going to be offline most of the day today.

Everyone have a great Halloween weekend! See you Monday!!!

p.s. you may catch some notes on Twitter. Join in the fun!

Self Induced Fear?

I have a major fear about having diabetes.

Not death. Death doesn't scare me although the pain I may go through getting there does.

Blindness? No, although something I am concerned about, it is not a fear. I am doing all I need to do and check my eyes yearly. I am not too worried.

Losing my feet is a huge fear of mine. Second to the number one fear that I unfortunately have no control over.

My kids being diagnosed.

I have written about this before. I get comments that say, "well if they did at least you know what you were dealing with." A very true statement. I would be in a much better position than my parents were when I was diagnosed.

But in "knowing what we are dealing with" comes with knowing the pain, fear, constant management, concern, guilt, and frustration that comes with it. Knowing exactly what it's like does not make me feel better.

The other day my son George came home sick. He said he had a headache, was tired, and felt like he had run a marathon. I have noticed that he has been drinking a lot of fluids lately. I called him when he got home and drilled him about his symptoms.

Have you been thirsty? Are you peeing a lot? Have you noticed any vision change? Hunger?

I thought about asking him to check his BG with my Wavesense meter that sits on my nightstand. But what if it's high and he is all alone and freaks out? I can't do that! I was the one freaking out for no reason.

He answered all of my questions with "No," which made hanging up with him a lot easier but still, I worry. I have been worrying about my kids before they were born. I am sure I will never stop.

I just pray constantly that my diabetes is the only diabetes they ever have to deal with.

Do you do this to yourself about your kids, future kids, nieces and nephews? I feel like I am crazy sometimes.

Break When Needed

One thing about this community is the never ending lack of support. If I have a diabetes issue or question I need help with, I know I can hop on Twitter at almost any hour of the day and someone will be on to help me out.

I love it.

But all this talk about diabetes all the time can make you burn out. The thing is, we have to think about all day long so when we have a chance to hang out and talk, sometimes diabetes is the LAST subject we want to talk about.

This was the inspiration for the October 1st No D-Day that so many joined in on. That day, participants did not blog, tweet, or discuss diabetes (if they could help it) and it was a nice change. Although, I will admit that I noticed a lack of people on Twitter that day.

I like to think that they took a break from their computers, their handhelds, and laptops just to enjoy other stuff and not let the D word pop into their vocabulary.

Personally, I do like to talk about the D. For many years I didn't have anyone to talk to and all you fellow pin cushions out there make this ninja feel apart of the family and not like an outsider. You do know that I love you all like Bacon, right? ;)

The thing I am getting at is, if you need a break take one. If you are sick of talking about Diabetes, don't. Take your time, pace yourself and when you have that desire again, I promise you the rest of the OC will be waiting to greet you with open arms!

You Tube Tuesday #143

I have always had my suspicions about this dude. Could he be immortal?

You decide.

Enjoy!

TCOYD Recap

This last weekend I attended the TCOYD conference.

I had never been to a TCOYD event before so I was not sure what to expect.

TCOYD stands for Taking Control Of Your Diabetes.

First thing in the morning was a general session with founder Dr. Steven Edelman who spoke about all types of diabetes and what the biggest hurdles are for each. He showed how all are different and yet some issues we have are the same. I appreciated the long talk about Type 1 since I always feel us T1’s get snubbed but since Dr. Edelman is a Type 1 himself, it does get it’s due attention.

After that first session I went to check out the Health Fair to see my good friends Cherise, Manny, & Dino. And to meet a couple of other Tu Diabetes members there to help. Cherise and I made our way around the Fair but it was jammed packed. I am not a good “crowd” person so I kind of stayed back and plotted my path for later on. There were several booths I wanted to talk to but I did not want to have to elbow people out of my way to do it.

During the second morning session I had my chance. Cherise and I walked around and met with people from Diabuddies, Wavesense (I love their meters and their booth associates), Amylin, Behavioral Diabetes Institute, and so many others. It was great to see so many communities and companies there spreading the word and being there to answer questions and provide motivation.

As we headed back the Diabetes Hands Foundation booth, I spotted another online DOC friend, Jenny! It's so great to get to see the people you interact with daily, face to face.

Right next door to the DHF booth was a group called Racing Against Diabetes or RAD. In the booth were two people, Patty and Terry, both riding stationary bikes. As I walked by trying to avoid eye contact I hear, "Hey you wanna hop on the bike for a while?" It was Patty and she was looking right at me.

"I'd rather not. But thanks for asking!" I figured that was the end of that.

"So (looked at my name tag) George, what kind of exercise do you do?" Keep in mind that Patty's tone and overall personality was very kind and sweet. Like a good friend who is just checking up on you.

"I will shoot hoops with my kids now and then but not as much as I would like to."

"Well, what kind of stuff can you do at home? Do you have any exercise equipment?" Patty was peddling along and chit chatting away.

"I have a recumbent exercise bike but I never use it." I was ashamed because I swear, I love that thing I just never make any effort. 

"Hang on." Patty jumped off of the bike and grabbed a sweet blue t-shirt. "Here, this is for you but you can only have it on one condition." 

"Okay?"

"You have to put that bike in front of the TV. So when you are watching TV at night you can sit on it and ride." She awaited my response.

"I'll do it tonight." And I meant it. I have to. I have to exercise and this is something I should have done before. 

"From now on when you kids are watching TV have them ride for a while too. The whole family can do it but George, you have to so they will see and follow you." 

Her words dug deep into my heart. She probably has no idea how guilty I feel when I sit there and do nothing. Or maybe she does know? Either way I could have hugged her for that motivation. It is one thing about this conference that I will not forget. And when I got home I pulled that bike right in front of the TV. 

After lunch, laughs, hula hoops, and Zumba dancing, Cherise and I headed to a CGMS and Pump lecture. It was cool seeing some new things coming down the line and we got to meet a couple who trained their dog to be a service dog for Diabetes. So cool. He even spotted a low a lady was having. Cherise and I whipped out our glucose tabs and helped the lady out and the dog stood by until things were good again. So cool.

During the last afternoon breakout I attended a neuropathy talk. It was difficult to hear and see. Images of feet with staples in them because the patient could not feel them, or the xray showing 4 insulin needles inside of a foot of a patient who did not know they were there. I refused to look at the pictures of the feet with missing toes. I turned my head and when another picture popped up and I heard the speaker explain what was on the screen (I was not looking) I got up and left. I could not handle it. 

I went back to the DHF booth to say goodbye to Manny and the rest of the gang and waited until the final talk by Dr. Edelman was given. 

Dr. Edelman was diagnosed with Type 1 at 19 and he spoke about his journey to be where he is now. It was cool to hear about a teenager who was diagnosed and was thrown into a class with a bunch of older type 2's to learn about this disease. I could relate because that was my experience too. He spoke about how the only thing he remembers is that Ketchup has a lot of sugar in it.

I reached over and tapped Cherise, "That is the one thing I remember. Don't eat sugar and Ketchup is bad!" Cherise giggled and I sat up to listen some more but I couldn't. 

I could feel my eyes welling up with tears. I remembered back to sitting in the room with all of those people and feeling ALREADY like an outsider. An outsider among diabetics! When he mentioned "Ketchup" I felt like the 17 year old kid I was, the one who felt so alone didn't really have to feel that way.There were more like me I just did not know who or where they were.

It made me so thankful for all of you. You do not make me feel like an outsider at all. You make me feel like I am normal. The D-OC saved my life.

All and all it was an emotional, educational, entertaining, and AWESOME day. I would HIGHLY recommend any of the TCOYD events. Such a great group led by a great man.

What's Big and Blue?

No not that Bear in the Big house or a giant Smurf. I am talking about something different.

The Big Blue Test!

Let me break down what The Big Blue Test is all about. You know what, let's stick to the press release. I am sure to miss something! Read up!

BERKELEY, CA: October 21, 2009 – November 14 is World Diabetes Day. On that day, at 14:00 hours (2 pm, local time), thousands of people with diabetes will test their blood sugar, do 14 minutes of exercise, test again and share their results online.

The event is called The Big Blue Test because the blue circle is the international symbol for diabetes. The idea of a shared "blood sugar test-in" started with an activity organized in July 2009 by TuDiabetes.org, a community for people touched by diabetes. More than a thousand people participated then. Now, we seek to reach thousands of people with diabetes through eight diabetes social networks^* and Twitter. The activity incorporates 14 minutes of physical activity to reinforce the importance of exercise.

“People with diabetes have to test their blood sugar routinely. It can be a very lonely activity.” said Manny Hernandez, co-founder of TuDiabetes and a person with diabetes himself. “We want people to take The Big Blue Test, to shed light on this chronic condition and the importance of exercise on World Diabetes Day.”

Currently, more than 250 million people have diabetes worldwide. Millions more have diabetes but do not know it yet. People with diabetes need to test their blood sugar levels several times a day and exercise regularly.

Participating in this event to raise diabetes awareness on November 14 is easy:

1. Test your blood sugar.
2. Run, jog, walk the dog or do anything you’d normally do as part of your exercise routine for 14 minutes.
3. Test your blood sugar again.
4. Go to http://bigbluetest.org (or your preferred diabetes social network^*) and post your readings and what physical activity you did. If you have a camera, you can also add a photo of your reading(s) or you exercising.
5. If you have a Twitter account, you can also post your readings on Twitter (use the #bigbluetest hashtag) and link back to http://bigbluetest.org.

“We hope to see most readings posted at 14 hours (2 pm) local time, on November 14. If you are early or late, it’s OK,” said Hernandez. “What matters most is that you test your blood sugar often and that you exercise regularly. If you don’t have diabetes, you can take The Big Blue Test. Either way, tell others to test, exercise and share on Nov. 14.”

This is awesome and I am excited to be apart of this test. So are you in? Are you gonna do it? I know I am and I hope you will join in with me!

I'm Talking

I was honored and flattered to be a guest on Just Talking.

Just Talking is a podcast created by our OC friend Chris, writer of A Consequence of Hypoglycemia..

I was a little nervous about it at first but the title and format says it all! We were just talking and it was awesome. Talking, meeting, and hanging out with D folk has always prove to be a great experience. This community is like a big circle of friends so it just felt like I was on Skype with my friend, Just Talking!

Anyhow, check it out let me know what you think and more importantly let Chris know what you think. This was his first episode after the Pilot and he loves to get feedback so please shoot him an email at feedback@justtalkingpodcast.com.

Movin' on up!

As most of you know, I wear an insulin pump (Master P) and a continuous glucose monitoring system (Shelly).

Back when I was on MDI, multiple daily injections, I took almost all of my shots in my stomach. I never had a problem with this. I would move around all day long and since I have plenty of tummy to go around, it was really not that big of a deal.

At first when I started on the pump I noticed some issues with absorption. I could feel lots of scar tissue in my abdomen so I figured I would give my tummy a break and switch to my thighs. That worked out well. I slowly move up and down each thigh and again I have plenty of real estate so I think I am giving my tissue time to heal.

But what to do with my CGM when I brought it on board?

I started by using my stomach which has giving me some serious pain, and some mixed results. I have found a few good spots that worked but my Keg (as opposed to a six pack) hurts sometimes from that inserion needle. And I have had some bad reactions because of it.

So now I have ventured to a new spot that before was solely used for Flu shots and such. My arms.

Friday night I put a sensor in my arm before I went to bed. I was nervous pressing down on the plunger to put it in but it didn't hurt at all. Yay! Jasmine helped put the Tegaderm on it. (side note - Tegaderm is like a patch of clear adhesive that holds the sensor in place. Like another layer of skin. It is sticky and works well for me.) I let the sensor get "wet" all night and then start it in the morning. I slept fine with it which was another concern and in the morning before I hopped in the shower, I started it up.

Awesome, this is a perfect spot.

When I got out of the shower and was drying off, I made sure I watched how I dried my arms and patted down the sensor so I did not rip it off. Perfect. I began drying my back and while I was puling the towel back and forth across my back I heard and felt a massive RIP!

OUCH!!!!!!!!!! (and some other words were shouted)

I didn't realize that my arm was bent in such a way that the pulling of the towel ran right across it and ripped it out. I mean ripped. I was left with a Tegaderm frame around the place my sensor was. Unbefreakingleavable.

I put in another sensor which turned out to be a bad one (yay) and ended up putting a third sensor in later Saturday night. So far this last sensor has been working well and I have figured out how to dry my back without pulling a sensor out. I don't want to do that ever again.

Hopefully this will continue to work for met. I really enjoy all the information I get from the CGM and would hate to stop using it because of scarring or pain. I figure if I use my arms for a while and let my stomach have a break, it will be ready to go when the arms are done for a while.

Being a human pin cushion sucks.

You Tube Tuesday #142

It's about time for another Cat video. It's been awhile since a furry little kitty has been featured on YTT and you all know how much I love cats.

Enjoy!

The Lucky 13

Some have a fear of the number 13. Today I celebrate that number because today 13 means something very special to me.

Today is my 13th wedding anniversary!

On the one hand I cannot believe it has already been 13 years and on the other, it sometimes feels like we have been married forever.

Some may have giggled at that sentence but it was not meant to be funny, unlike most sentences on this blog. No the reason it feels like our marriage is so old is because it is so solid.

We have had to deal with more things than most couples deal with in their entire relationship and yet we have made it. We have lost loved ones, had children, received degrees, almost ended up on the street, been in car accidents, been in the hospital, watched our child in the hospital, prayed, cried, laughed and celebrated together. And not one ounce of me worries what tomorrow will bring.

There are times we yell. There are also times that we laugh louder then anyone can yell! We are meant to be together. There is not a doubt in my mind.

I sometimes feel like with my disease that there is an added burden for her. My wife is always worrying and taking care of me. I hate that but she doesn't it. She hates my disease but will love me regardless of all the stupid strings that come attached to diabetes.

The team we have created is still being worked on. There are many times we don't see eye to eye but we are both determined to find a way to solve any problem. We are committed to our relationship, our marriage, our children, our family.

I am not the smartest guy in the world but there is one thing that I know without a doubt.

No matter what happens, we will both fight for our marriage.

It is worth it.

The Source!

My friend Gina has blown me away once again! She has created a site called The Diabetes Resource and it is loaded with all kinds of diabetical goodness.

If you are looking for blogs, information, support groups, and pretty much anything else related to diabetes, you can find it at The Diabetes Resource.

Gina and her team have pulled a lot of information about the D and put it on this site. If you have a blog, but it's not listed there, you can register and list it for free! Very cool stuff indeed.

And I am going to guess that you may have heard of a little site called Facebook. If so, you can check out the FB page here. And if you are on Twitter, follow TDR to get updates and links throughout the day.

Thank you so much for this Gina. When someone I know wants info about diabetes I will definitely let them know about this site. And I'll use it too! ;)

Good Job!

He's All Mine

As of today, and a $66.79 payment, "Master P" is 100% mine.

"Master P" is the name I have given my pump. I use a Minimed 722 insulin pump and when I got it, my insurance would only pay a portion of the price. Luckily their payment plan was not a major burden as far as monthly bills go but it seems I have been paying for it forever!

Having been a diabetic for 19 years does not make me feel like a know it all in any way. In fact, since I started blogging, got on this pump, and met all of you, I have found that I know very little. Each day I learn more and more about this disease and one day I hope I can help others learn about it and how to deal with it.

My pump has played a huge part in being a Born Again Diabetic and now his friend "Shell" (that's my CGM) work together to help me manage my blood sugar and see what medicine and food does to my blood glucose level. It may not be perfect but it provides information and insight I never thought I would know.

So what now? Honestly I am going to enjoy a few extra dollars in my pocket each month for a while. I figure this has been working for me for a while so getting a new pump is not really in my future unless something really cool comes along.

BEEP BOOP BEEP!!!

Sorry Master P, I didn't mean you weren't cool! (Also I didn't know you could hear.)

1 Happy Ninja

I am sure you can see why I am a happy ninja! BACON!

But that is not the only reason! That bacon was a gift from Suzanne from 1HappyDiabetic! We met for dinner with Jaimie and Cherise and the whole Simmons family.

When I met Suzanne I instantly felt like I was seeing an old friend. I love those meet ups! She handed me a card with 3 strips of yummy fake bacon in it. So awesome!

We enjoyed a great dinner laughing, and laughing, and laughing some more. I introduced Suzanne to the goodness that is Red Robin cheese sticks and I think she is excited to come out next year for another round.

After our dinner, we spent some time being equally as silly in the parking lot as we were inside the restaurant. Check out this clip that I recorded of The Diabeyoncette's! (I just made that name up for them but I think it works well).



When I got home I quickly loaded up my bacon into Barbie's arms to decide where to keep. She is going to hold one for me.



There is one in my car, and this very awkward spot for obvious reasons.

I call this one, "Before and After."

All and all it was a great time and a great follow up after dinner the night before with Lee Ann.

And if that's not enough, you should head over to Kerri's blog for the greatest news of the day! That is making me extra happy!

You Tube Tuesday #141

I have always been a fan of cool gymnastic type stunts. Often I have posted videos of people doing cool flips and tricks and generally pushing their bodies to turn in twist in ways I could have never imagined.

This video gives you a glimpse at what doing cool flips on a trampoline feels like. Dizzy is the best word to use.

Watch with caution, I had to hold onto my desk as I watched this so I would not fall over.

Enjoy!

Vlogging with Lee Ann!

On Friday night I went down to San Diego to have dinner and hang out with my good friend Lee Ann, creator and mastermind of The Butter Compartment. Check out the clip, and then head over to her site to hear the rest of the tale.




 Thanks again for the meet up Lee Ann. I had a blast hanging out and being silly with you!

Friday Fun

So, I gained a pound this week. I knew it before I saw the number on the scale this morning.

I am not angry about it. I did a lot of up and down with my weight when I lost it before. I am still motivated and am not giving up so I am not going to let that get to me today. No way! No how!

Today, or I should say tonight I am going to meet up with my good friend LeeAnn!

It makes me want to sing. (you can sing along to the tune of "Tonight" from West Side Story)

Tonight. Tonight. I'll meet LeeAnn tonight.

Tonight is going to be awesomeness!

Tonight. Tonight! We'll talk and grab a bite

and we'll say that the OC's the best!

Today, you'll say "hey where did he go?"

I'm down in San Diego, we'll vlog or we will write,

About, our time, the fun that we will have

will be a sight!!!!

TONIGHT!

Okay, that is not my best WSS version of a blog but still I am uber excited about hanging out with LeeAnn.

And also, I am pretty stoked that a small little ninja made it to it's intended destination! :)

Have a great weekend.

A Moment Without Diabetes

The other night I was woken up by a low. My CGMS was blaring and I when I opened my eyes I could feel that heavy, disoriented, spacey feeling washing over me.

I turned on the lamp on my night stand and sat there.

“Honey, are you low?” I don’t think she heard the CGM but I think she just wakes up whenever I need her. She’s like a superhero.

My grunting confirmed it and she headed to the kitchen to find something to eat. She also handed me my machine off of my dresser.

57.

As I heard the sound of cupboards opening and things being moved around in the kitchen I had a strange thought.

I cannot wait until this is over. I am tired of this.

For a moment, my glucose deprived brain thought of diabetes as a flu or cold. Something that I would get over with a few rounds of antibiotics, not a disease that I have to live with until a cure is found. Or I expire.

It was a quick moment but that moment was nice. I know it was not from a sound mind but it honestly felt as this was just a passing thing I would get over eventually.

As quick as it came it went.

“What the hell is wrong with me? This shit is ‘til death do us part!’”

No sooner after that did my wife bring something in for me to eat. I started to feel better when I finally went back to bed.

Laying there I thought about that moment. I remember how I believed it. I remembered how I wished to be true and how awesome that would be for all of us.

I turned on my side so Jasmine would not see the tears that were filling my eyes. As one streamed down my face and into my ear, I wiped it up, said a prayer for a cure, and hoped for a dream without diabetes. 

You Tube Tuesday #140

HahahaHAaHAHaHAHAHAHA!

This is so dumb it is making me laugh.

Enjoy.

Friday on Monday

Friday was spent attempting to fix a major tech problem at my work so I was not able to post. I am sorry about that.

I first wanted to say “thanks” to all of you bloggers and tweeters out there that made “No D-Day” a success. I found it fascinating to read the posts about people that had nothing to do with Diabetes. We even had a No D Day vlog with music! Awesome!

Another thing I wanted to mention Friday was that it was my 19^th year anniversary since diagnosis. I guess not that exciting in the grand scheme but every year I go I am happy to have not lost the fight. Maybe next year a party will be in order. Who knows?

Last and certainly least in my book is my attempt at losing weight. I did not lose any last week. Didn’t gain any either but I really was hoping some change would show. Oh well. Maybe this week will be a doozy right? 

B.A.D. Being a Dad

I write about a lot of topics on this blog but the most important and special one is fatherhood.

At a very young age I knew that I wanted to be a dad. I was always the guy people turned to for advice. I had a natural instinct to stand up for and defend my friends and my mother recalls a time when I sat on the curb for hours with my best friend Stephanie and she cried to me about her parents divorce.

Being a dad was in the cards for me.

I have always second guessed my ability as a dad. As much as my love for my children is with question, the way you raise your kids is always a concern. Am I going to say one thing and destroy my child's self esteem? Am I being to strict? Too leanient? Am I a being their friend or father?

It's a daily thing it seems.

But then when I see Gillian asking her brother for help with homework and him helping without any complaint. Or when George congratulated Gillian on her A+ spelling test she brought home the other day. Or when Gillian knew that George had a bunch of homework and took out the trash for him (his job, yay fatherhood) without asking. When I see this stuff, I know my wife and I are doing something right.

I'll never forget the moment I saw my son. I instantly fell in love with him and with being a dad and with my wife all over again in that moment. And it has never changed. Sure he has upset me but nothing he can do can stop me from loving him. The exact same feelings came over me when my daughter was born.

I tell my kids that my duty as a parent is to raise them up to be good people that help make the world better by just being good people! To raise functional members of society that love their neighbors as well as themselves. This is my goal.

Once when George was testing out his limits I told him, "I would rather you hate me and not be an awful person, then you think I am 'awesome' and you turn out to be a jerk." If it takes my kids hating me right now for the rules I lay down than so be it. I am older and I know more then they do. I am both strict and open to letting them stumble and make some mistakes in life. They will never learn to watch for bumps in the road if they don't trip over one now and then right?

I still have a ways to go with raising these children but the challenges ahead are met together. All four of us, my wife and kids, we talk about all of our struggles together, about our choices, about mistakes and punishments. I always ALWAYS explain why they are punished and how they can avoid punishment in the future.

They get it.

As with all parenting styles, not one is right for everyone.

My advice? Know your kids. Love them. Let them know you. Explain your actions. Ask them how they would handle the situation if the roles were reversed AND CONSIDER THEIR IDEAS on it. They may surprise you! You may surprise them!

Heck, you may surprise yourself. A lot can be learned from each other.

My last and most important thing I can say as advice from one parent to another is remember what it was like when you were a kid. Is what you are saying anything that would have made and impact on you?

If not, dump it and find a new route. You would be surprised how well this works.

Happy Parenting!!!