Monday, July 17, 2006

Sunday Scare

I woke up Sunday morning after a day filled with travel from Green Bay to Minneapolis and then finally home to Orange County. I stumbled in the bathroom to shave and when I looked down at my feet…


My heart sank as it rapidly increased its tempo. My middle toe on my left foot was dark purple. I blinked my eyes and hoped that it was just a shadow. I licked my finger and rubbed my toe hoping to God that it was dirt or something that would just wipe off. Nothing worked. This was real. Then the questions began.

“How could this happen? Did I step on something? When did this happen? Could I have missed this yesterday before my long travel day? Did sitting in a plane contribute to this? Am I going to lose a toe at age 33? What do I do about church that I am supposed to be at in 2 hours to lead the band? How do I tell my wife? Will I ever show my feet again. Why is this happening?”

I grabbed the phone and called my pastor to let him know that I was going to the hospital to get it checked out and that I could not lead the band. As soon as I started to tell him, I fell apart. I tried to keep it together but I was terrified, sad, and angry. He was awesome, as usual, and told me not to worry about church at all. Everything would be fine and to just go immediately to the hospital. After I finally stopped crying I hung up and told my wife.

Luckily, she did not freak out. We called the advice nurse and hopped in the car to Urgent Care.

The whole drive there I kept thinking about losing my toe, then another, then half of my foot, an eventually in a wheel chair with no feet. I created, as usual, a scenario in my head that took me into a dark pit of depression before I even knew how bad the actual situation was.

Turns out, I do have an infection on my toe. I am on antibiotics and also keeping a close eye for any changes or spreading. There is a very small cut on my toe but how it got there is a total mystery. When I left Green Bay Saturday morning, it was 4:30 AM so I very well could have stubbed it on the shower or something before I left but I always take a good look at my feet when I get up before showering so I know it did not happen prior to Friday morn.

I am still scared. The doctor that saw me said that everything should be fine now that I am taking the antibiotics to stop the infection. But, how quickly could have this taken a turn for the worse? I have no clue how fast toes turn from purple to black and of course being a PWD I am terrified of losing my piggies.

Well for now, the “one who had roast beef” is okay, as is the rest of the clan. Both east and west side for that matter. I will definitely give them more attention and nurse this one back to health.

What a crappy way to start a day.


Kevin said...

I'm sorry to hear that you had such a scare. Hopefully the antibiotics will do the trick.

I ID all too well with the notion of taking any little ache and pain and building it up nicely to the worst case scenario in my head (My most frequent line of thought goes something like this: "Hmmm, I have a slight headache...Oh I hope this isn't a stroke..." (squiggle facial muscles around, check for numbness in limbs) thoughts of needing to be fed and bathed and pushed around soon follow). This can easily throw me into a serious funk.

But look on the bright-side. You're checking your feet regularly and catching anything like this early before it makes a turn for the worse. To that I say: Way to go! Sounds like you've done (and are continuing to do) all the right things.

I hope your toe heals nicely and those fears can be put to rest (for a while at least - though we know they'll always be in the back of our heads, which sucks for sure).

Jane said...

It's the stuff of nightmares. Glad you got it dealt with so promptly. I'd still be in a heap on the shower floor crying.

KSC said...

Yikes, I hope that your toe recovers quickly.

Sarah said...

I'm sorry about your scare!!! My heart dropped and mind raced just reading about it.

I'm the master at taking anything (little or big) to its ultimate, grizzly, horrifing end. Its not pretty.

Scott K. Johnson said...

Yikes buddy!

That is scary for sure. I'm glad to hear that you are on top of it. I get all freaked out about feet things, just because, well, like you, I get scared about losing piggies.

Now, the next time you cross through Minneapolis, you have to let me know. I can come down to the airport and hang out with you while you're rushing between flights! Waitaminute - did you say you left Green Bay at 4:30AM? Uh, nevermind - I'll catch you next time you're passing through! :-)

I was going to ask where in Wisconsin you were going to be - figuring I might be up for a road trip (MN is right next door!), but I never got the e-mail out to you.

Glad things are Ok - keep a good eye on it for us.

Penny said...

I hope all your toes are back to their normal color soon. How scary!

Johnboy said...

Wow, I'm glad that you caught that quickly and that your pastor is so understanding.

I will be praying for your toe. :)


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