Monday, March 17, 2008

St. Patrick's Day Memory

St. Patrick’s Day was always a fun day back when I was a kid. I would figure out what I was going to wear so I would not be pinched all day long and look forward to lots of cool Green projects like coloring Leprechauns and pots of gold. Grammar school was so much fun. I miss those years.

The sad thing is that St. Patty’s day will forever remind me one very disturbing afternoon.

Georgie was a little guy and staying each day at a daycare on location where my wife worked. She was working as a Teacher’s Aide for hearing impaired kids. This particular location had a daycare available to the school staff so Georgie would stay there during the day. It worked out great because Jasmine could stop in and see him whenever she wanted or was needed.

One evening as my wife was cooking dinner and I was hanging out with little G, I quickly realized that the awful odor I smelled was thankfully not dinner but a very full diaper. I took him into his room and put him on the changing table. I could not believe what I saw when I took off his diaper!

“JAAAAAAZZZZZ!!!!!! GET IN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!”

As my wife comes running into the room my brain starts spinning. What the hell did he get into? Do I need to call poison control? Oh my goodness, something is wrong with my baby!!!!

There in his diaper is what looks like Bright Green Paint. I was sure he drank paint or ate a marker or something. I had no clue. We were both freaking out. My wife had enough sense to call one of the girls who worked there at the daycare and find out if maybe the school was missing a Gumby doll or something. I cleaned him all up as Jasmine called. I kept waiting for him to start crying or spitting up green goo like the exorcist but nothing happened.

Suddenly I hear my wife coming down the hall crying. Oh no! As she turns the corner into the room and I am finally able to begin breathing again since I realize that she was laughing. Hysterically laughing.

“They gave him green milk to drink. They gave all the kids green milk for St. Patrick’s day!”

You have got to be kidding me? So here I am, ready to take my kid to the hospital to have his stomach pumped and this was all a St. Patty’s day thing? I felt so dumb but at the same time, I was kind of mad that the people there did not say anything to us.

Oh well at least all was okay. It is too bad that every year when St. Patrick’s Day comes around, I have memories of one thing.

Green Poo.

9 comments:

Minnesota Nice said...

Well, what about those Shamrock Shakes they serve at McDonald's?
(I now feel thankful I didn't hae one.)

Major Bedhead said...

*snort* That's hysterical. I wonder if green beer has the same affect on adults.

Sara said...

Having met your lovely family, the sotry takes on a whole new perspective!
I wonder what I could add green to, to see if it has the same effect on adults.

P.S. I hate word verification and apparently the feeling is mutual!

Scott K. Johnson said...

Green. Poo.

Ahh, memories...

micksmom28 said...

Ahhh . . . memories! I'm sure all of us parents have seen a few multicolored diapers in our times! The first is the best though!

Lea said...

Oh my gosh that is funny! One time we gave Noah Blue's Clues blue applesauce...it was not pretty.

JB said...

Hi! I don't know you but I know that green poop. The first time it happened to my son he was 3ish. He had to go potty and we were at the menards. So, I took him while my husband shopped dreamily of things I would not let him buy. I could not believe what I saw upon wiping him... bright, almost florescent, GREEN on the paper. WTF? AHHHHHHhhhhhh. I know I was in the woman's bathroom but I was about to go running hysterically around the store to find my husband and bring him in to have a look (he would have killed me). I figured that wasn't going to work, so was thinking of fishing it out of the toilet (ewwwwee) in an attempt to be prepared when the doctors said, "Green? Huh, could you describe that green?" And I would promptly pull out my Ziploc of green poop from my bag. Unfortunately, I didn't have a Ziploc in my purse.

So we were freaked. I was freaked. My husband, not having seen it, wasn't as freaked. It's weird. It's really GREEN. But our son was fine. No signs of sickness. No complaints. So I chalked it up as a weird story we could tell his girlfriends when he’s a teenager.

Long story long... after about 3 incidences of the green poop spread out over the course of a year my husband figured it out.

Our son had green poo after having a cupcake from JEWEL with green frosting. You know that frosting; it practically stains your fingers? Yeah, well, it stains something else too.

JB

P.S. How very FESTIVE of your daycare.

The Jimmer said...

I do not know you either but it appears my lovely sister JB has killed the responses to this post.

George said...

HAHAHAHAHA I love that I am not alone with the Mean Green Dookie Machine!