I’ve been in a dark place for a long while. Some may call it depressed but I am not sure if that would be the correct diagnosis. I feel like I have chosen this dark cold place to retreat to instead of just ending up there. I wanted to hide away for a while and avoid reality. And of course when I decide to peek back into the world, all of my problems are still there.
Lurking does not suit me well. I like to comment just as much as I like to receive comments so continuing down this path for yours truly is not working. I am going to try and come back to the OC. I feel so disconnected to so many things right now. I hope I have not ruined the connections I once had.
I left you all after a visit to the eye doctor. To be honest, the visit was not bad. Not good but not bad. I was told that there was some hemorrhaging in both of my eyes but that it was not bad and could be expected since I have been a diabetic for so long. I am going back in 4 months just to make sure nothing is progressing.
My reason for leaving this place is because of other issues in my life. The economy has hit my family hard and there is a good chance that the roof over my head may be taken away from me. I am not doing well with this at all for so many reasons. Mostly for putting my kids through the stress of having to change schools and move out of the only home they have ever known. The other reason being the feeling of total and complete failure. Being able to type all of that helps me to let the stress of this situation go.
I plan to do all I can and see where it gets me.
When you first try to get out of the dark it takes some time for eyes to adjust. When you do, you can see a lot clearer then you did when you first entered that dark place.
I still have a job. I am still married. I still have two amazing children. I still breathe. I cannot quit.