Born Again?

Recently I was asked if the “Born Again” in the name of my blog is a religious thing.

It is not.

When I started this blog over 3 years ago it was because I was going to start new. Like a brand new diabetic and get my act together. That has not happened.

But what has happened is that Diabetes is a bigger focus in my life. It is not ignored and pushed aside like it was for so many years. Day to day I struggle with keeping my disease under control but in the end I have stayed the path of trying and trying to get my act together.

But this is not a religious blog.

I am however a religious person. And a spiritual one which I think are two very different things.

I am at church every Sunday. I lead the contemporary worship band by singing and playing guitar and I love it. We attend a Lutheran church and I find that when I do miss a week I feel like my cup is not full. Church each week provides an outlet for my spiritual plug.

Being a church going Christian does not make me perfect, better than anyone, smarter, nicer, friendlier, or holy. I am NOT perfect. I am NOT good at a lot of things. I can be a total airhead. I drop an F bomb here and there when someone cuts me off. And my son was my ring bearer in my wedding so…perfect? No.

But I know who watches over me, who died for me, who loves me, who to thank for my blessings, who to look for when I need comfort, and who is my strength.

For those of you who are not Christians or believe in any higher power, I hope my blog doesn’t turn you away. I am not a judging person and frankly, if I am “Christian” then judging is something I am not supposed to do.

In this place, I am me. This is just me. The imperfect, fat, sometimes silly, sometimes sad, nutty, passionate, God fearing, life loving, diabetic me.

MJ and My BG

I was born in 1973. My parents were 25 and they were both very into music.

Now I was too little to really remember The Jackson 5 except from video clips and of course songs like “ABC” and “I Want You Back.” But for me, my love for Michael Jackson’s music started with the Off The Wall album.

I remember listening to lots of dance music when I was a kid in the late 70’s. Donna Summer, Earth Wind and Fire, Kool and the Gang, and of course, Michael Jackson.

When I heard about his death last week I was surprised how much it affected me. I never thought of myself as a huge fan but when I started to listen to all the songs they were playing on the radio, and seeing the videos on TV, I got really upset.

So many life memories pop into my head when I hear many of his songs. Trips with my family when we all would be singing songs in the RV on our way camping. Dancing in my living room with my sisters to “Wanna Be Starting Something” and even at my sisters wedding last year that sparked a massive “Thriller” dance when the DJ played it.

Even my kids love his music.

There is one song in particular that is not a “hit” song of his but by far my favorite. It is off of his “Dangerous” album and it’s called “Keep the Faith.” The song is not a danceable one but rather like a song you would hear a Baptist church choir sing.

"'Cause you can climb the highest mountain, swim the deepest sea, all you need is the will to want it and a little self esteem. So keep the faith. Don’t let nobody turn you ‘round. You’ve gotta know when it’s good to go, to get your dreams up off the ground. So keep the faith. Because it’s just a matter of time before your confidence will win out. Believe in yourself no matter what it’s gonna take, you can be a winner but you’ve got to keep the faith."

At the end of the song is this amazing vocal breakdown with Michael and choir just working it and every time I hear it, I get chills.

I know this isn’t a diabetes post except to say that dancing to good music always brings down my blood sugar so I can do that and pay tribute to one of the greatest entertainers in my lifetime.

You Tube Tuesday #126

We had a fun filled weekend which was part of the reason I was not around online very much.

On Saturday we went to a Luau at our friends house to celebrate many June birthdays. It was a great time with great food and great friends. Yeah, it was great.

One really cool thing was this water slide that was at the party. I must get one of these for my backyard.

Enjoy!

Why I Was Out

Last week was crazy. Each day at work was filled with special projects and major issues I had to deal with. Every evening was filled with “drama” at home. Nothing awful but just always something it seemed.

My presence on Twitter, Email, and even AIM was almost non existent. I was able to get a couple of “tweets” in on Saturday but that was about it.

So now, I am behind. I have lots to share and really do not want to mash it all up for one post. So I’ll give you each tasty morsel each day this week. Even the You Tube Tuesday tomorrow will be a little glimpse into my craaaaaazy week!

Hope you aren’t too upset about my absence. Maybe I need to get some people to guest post while I am out. Anyone interested for the next time I disappear for a week?

You Tube Tuesday #125

By now you all know what a strange sense of humor I have. I am not alone. Last night at my son’s birthday dinner my sister asked me if I had seen this particular You Tube clip. I laughed when she described it to me and laughed even harder when I watched it last night.

I hope you dig it.

Enjoy.

15

Today is my son's 15 birthday.

It seems like yesterday when he was born. Those people that said to cherish every moment because they grow up so fast were right. I cannot believe he's so old.

More then anything I am thankful for the person he has become. A good friend, brother, son, and person. I have no doubt that he will be successful at what ever he does in life.

Talented, funny, personable, repectful, well-spoken, compassionate, humble, kind, and loving are all words I can use describe him.

Rare is another one that comes to mind.

We are very blessed.

Most importantly, I want to say...

Happy Birthday Son!

A Week to Remember

So the other day I went to dinner with my sisters to celebrate what would have been our grandma’s 100th birthday. It was fun laughing at some of the crazy stuff grandma did and reminiscing of times that were filled with fun. There is nothing like the love you get from your grandma.

I remember sitting on her lap watching TV or my favorite past time was sitting on the front porch on warm summer nights and counting all the airplanes we could see. As silly as it sounds, that was one of my favorite things to do.

I miss her like crazy.

And that brings me to the bitter sweet holiday called Fathers Day. I know I have written about how my fathers death still, STILL bothers and upsets me. It’s been 17 years and yet I cry. Each year he misses more. I know he is here in my heart, and in spirit, not to mention my twisted sense of humor which I have passed down to my kids. I just want to play basketball with him. Or ride a rollercoaster.

I miss him like crazy.

In the past I have written about the conversation we had the night I was diagnosed. I still hear him on the phone, holding back tears, telling me I am going to be okay and that we are going to figure this all out. I swear I can hear him right now. So weird how things like that stay with you.

My dad used to say things to me that always stuck and that I always made sure I remembered.

“Never be a follower. Always be a leader.”
“One person’s rock can be a boulder to someone else.”
“All I ask is that you make me proud.”

Even as a kid I knew this stuff was important. It has taken me years to fully understand what all these things meant.

My dad never wanted me to not be myself. He wanted me to do what I wanted to do regardless of what others thought. And he wanted me to have passion for whatever I do. To be proud and in turn that would make him proud. To not be afraid to be different or looked at funny or whatever. To be the best I could be.

But also, he wanted me to have compassion. Compassion to understand that what may seem like a silly little problem could be an enormous burden to another. This has particularly useful in raising my kids. When Gillian is upset because someone else got invited to party and she didn’t, I don’t say “who cares. It’s their loss not yours.” I offer love and understanding and let her know that when I was her age that happened to me too. I try to provide empathy instead of sympathy.

So to my Dad who would have been 60 this year, I want to say that I hope that you are looking down on me and my family and are proud. You will happy to know that my son is just as outgoing and personable as you were and my daughter has your very funny, very sick sense of humor. I see you in them all the time.

I miss you immensely and cannot wait to play a game of basketball when I see you again someday.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Your son,
George