Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Change Happens, Courage Reacts

This morning I had my second visit to my endo. I got to the appointment 15 minutes early just like momma taught me. When I stepped into the waiting room, I noticed only 2 seats available. This place was packed so I knew I should take the seat next to the table with all of the random magazines on it instead of the one between the nice older couple and the lady holding a screaming child.

I sat down and started thumbing through a Hospital Magazine about Diabetes and stuff happening at the hospital. I rarely read a magazine from cover to cover so I just flipped through until I find something interesting.

The problem was, I was not in the right place to read. I really wanted to know what my blood test results were and what, if any, were the next steps towards getting my pump. I could not even consider the article in the Golf Magazine (I do not Golf but now you can see how long I sat in there) about how to have the absolute perfect drive.

After trying to interpret a brochure written entirely in spanish (I don't speak spanish at all, see above comment about the Golf mag) I heard an elderly couple talking. I decided to leave my literature cocoon and see what was happening in the ole Endo Patient Holding Tank.

"I am writing a poem honey and I need your help on one line." She was probably in her mid 70's as was her husband and they were about the cutest couple I had seen in a long time. "Tell me what you have," the husband replied. "I am stuck between Change Happens, Courage Reacts or Change Happens, Courage Surfaces." He looked around. Closed his eyes. "Definately go with 'reacts'." She agreed with him and continued to write out the rest of her poem.

I let those words sink in. Change Happens, Courage reacts. So simple. So true, at least most of the time. I wonder if her next line had anything to do with when Courage do not react. What about when Fear cripples you? I used to let that happen all the time. I like to think I am finding more and more of my courage each day. God knows it is a continuous struggle for me.

GEORGE SIMONS! (The always say Simons when it is really Simmons). I spring up from my seat, send a smile towards the elderly couple that I could not get out of my mind all day and also send a grin at the lady holding the still screaming child. Ah, I remember those days.

I got in the room after a tragic episode on the scale. Maybe my wallet gained 2 pounds, who knows. My blood pressure was good and soon after the nurse left the doctor came in. He broke out my lab results and said, "Everything looks good. Your fasting blood sugar was 101, and your kidneys, liver, and cholesterol all are in normal range." SAHWEET "Also, you are without a doubt a Type 1 so we are on the road to get you your pump, you are a definate candidate."

I hear a drumroll in the distance. "What is my A1C?" I think to myself. The camera moves in closer on my face as you hear the drums fade away and only hear my heartbeat...

"Oh no, you are going to have to go back to the lab. They made a mistake on your A1C test. Apparently the person who took your blood marked it incorrectly and they had to cancel it."

No F-ing Way! I have been so curious about my A1C ever since I went to the lab. I cannot stand this! I am going nuts now. Anyhow, I will be at the lab tomorrow morning at 6:30AM to give more blood although I am going to a different one in hopes of not having another mistake.

In retrospect, it was a good visit. I got to hear that my kidneys, liver, and my cholesterol is good and that is a concern of mine of course. I was able to see the paperwork all filled out and ready to go to my insurance for my insulin pump and most importantly I heard a morsel of a poem that sparked a dialog in my head that still rages on.

"Change Happens, Courage Reacts. "

I love that.


Shannon said...

Hey, at least your organs are in good shape!!

But, I'm so frustrated that they screwed up your A1C test!! I wanna know how you did :)

Kerri. said...

I am so excited for you and your Road to the Pump!

"Change happens, Courage reacts."

I smell a bumper sticker. Or at least a snazzy t-shirt.

Scott K. Johnson said...

Yeah, that line is great. Makes you feel good about your ability to cope with stuff.

Dude, I got such a laugh out of "a tragic episode on the scale". Oh man - I'm so in touch with you on that... Just needed you to know that I laughed out loud on that one. Great stuff!

And how could they mess up what has to be the thing we are most curious about. Damn.

J said...

Excellent qoute to remember isn't it funny what we hear if we just take the time to stop and listen something I often forget. thanks for this

Megan said...

Gah, sorry about your a1c. My clinic does it right in the office- it's good! Lol on your doctor verifying you are type 1 first for the pump. My visit where I was prescribed a pump was pretty simples:

dr: "Lantus bleh bleh bleh...change Lantus dose to this...bleh bleh bleh"

me: "Lantus is all well and good, but I want a pump."

him: "Okay."

me: "Just ok?"

him: "Sure, why not? I'll get paper work going today.

me: "What if my insulin levels show i have type 2?"

dr: "You've been treated like a type 1 this long, we might as well keep going with it."

me: "Okie dokie."

And so my diagnosis remains type 1.