Monday, May 14, 2007

Updates: Feet, Fat, Friends and More

My foot is feeling better. I am still feeling pain but not nearly as bad. Could I just be getting used to it? I doubt it since the pain was pretty horrendous. But one thing I know for sure, it was not what Bernard thought it was.
I have a referral from a friend on another endo that I am going to check out and see if he is in my network of doctors. I will let you know what happens with that.

Still no word back from the home A1C test but as soon as I get it, I will post both the Labs results and this Home test.

I have not mentioned “O” or “M” in my blog for a while. I see "M" and his family each Sunday at church and we have some chit chat time occasionally. He seems to be doing well. His parents are so involved in his life and his Diabetes that I feel really good about his future.

His mom is so worried each time we talk and I tear up when I see her tears. It breaks my heart because I see what my mother must have felt and mothers of PWD’s everywhere feel when I see her. M is a good kid who for the time being seems to be in pretty good control of his D.

“O” on the other side of the coin has me very worried. I spoke with her mom a while back and she spoke about some very strange habits (IMO) like using Ice Cream as a snack before bed and wondering why O would wake up over 250. I told her that maybe she should check her BG in the middle of the night and try a different snack or something.

She did not seem very receptive but maybe I just read her wrong. All I can do is offer little nuggets of “wisdom” or suggest stuff when I see her. She also told me about using Ice Cream to treat a Hypo (maybe she works for Ben and Jerry) and I suggested Glucose tabs.

Hopefully she will remember some of the suggestions and check them out for herself and O. Then again, a part of me thinks I should just keep my mouth shut about it all. I am not a doctor so what the heck do I know.

My waistline continues to expand for what seems like no reason at all. I eat a lot of things that are very boring and do not have a lot of calories. I exercise and nada. It is driving me nuts. I am obviously not exercising enough nor am I cutting out enough calories. It goes without saying that it is completely depressing. I am just in a funk about it.

The desire to smoke has surfaced. I cannot stop thinking about smoking. I walk into crowds of people smoking hoping someone will offer me one and I can take it without even thinking about it. It has been over 6 months since I quit but I want to start smoking so bad I can hardly stand it.

Each time I look at myself in a mirror I am reminded of the 50 lbs that have been added to my fat ass since I quit. So what is worse, smoking or being severely obese? My BMI puts me in the range of severe obesity now and I figure I am on the fast track to a heart attack.

I know what some of you are thinking, “DON’T START AGAIN!” and I hear myself saying that too but I just figure I can lose some weight and then get on the patch again. Plus I’ve been in an ultra pissy mood lately because of it.

I am sorry guys; I am just not doing well.

12 comments:

Shannon said...

We used to give Brendon ice cream as a bed time snack, but usually if he had been playing hard during the day and we wanted to prevent a low overnight. I guess that mom needs to measure out the food better or adjust the ratios....I don't know.

As for losing weight, keep track of your calorie intake. Keep a log over the next few days just to see how many calories you're actually taking in.

You can bump up the intensity of your cardio if you only have time to do 30 minutes. Keep your heart rate in a certain range while you workout (go to menshealth.com to get your heart rate range).

And DON'T START SMOKING AGAIN. If you're in a funk, why would you want to do something to bury yourself even further. Look for something to pick you up, not bring you down :)

Rachel... said...

Please do not start smoking again.

I'll offer any advice on diet/exercise that both of us found helped.

Please do not start smoking again.

(Love, the girl who grew up with two smoking parents.)

Scott K. Johnson said...

That is one good looking tumor on your boat man.

That cringe on my face is from you thinking about smoking!!

I feel you on the depression though. It feels like you are working hard and not seeing results.

Stick with it though. Our bodies do not like change, and will try their hardest to avoid it. Your body is just testing your mental resolve to change. Stick with it, be safe, burn more than you eat, and it will happen.

Don't forget, your body burns a bunch of calories just doing body stuff (breathing, thinking, heart beat, etc).

I'm not losing any real weight either, but I'm eating shitty lately.

The cigs are just plain bad news. Plus, you will stink. Your wife cannot like a stinky man. I know she loves you and all, but damn! And what about the kiddos?

Don't do it man.

Vivian said...

I am sorry you are in a funky place. As a smoker, I understand but please do not start back, you are my hero. I am so glad to hear that M is doing well and has lots of support. As for O, our endo swears ice cream is the best bedtime snack because of the fat, I would never give it for a hypo though, we use it a lot when we know he will dip in the night. I am glad your foot is better but you should still find the cause, whew am I glad it is not what Bernard thought. lol Hang in there bud, we are all cheering for you. If you ever need anything you know where to find me. =)

George said...

This goes to show you what a loser my endo is, i have never heard of the ice cream thing! Thank you OC for explaining that to me but seriously, the Hypo thing is scary.

I am thinking I should go buy some patches and try those again for a little while before totally falling off of the wagon.

I am really trying to justify it. Thank you all for your words of encouragement.

This sucks.

Minnesota Nice said...

.........don't start again. Please.

Major Bedhead said...

Go lick a dirty ashtray. That'll cure you of wanting to smoke again.

I totally think you have the right to talk to O's mother about how to treat highs and lows. The ice cream thing is usually done with little kids (don't know how old O is) who are running around like maniacs all day. The combo of protein and carbs help sustain the blood sugars over night. If O isn't an active kid, though, it's just empty calories.

Have you thought of trying Weight Watcher's? Or would that just be one more thing to track? That was the only time I had success losing weight. Maybe if you combine that with your exercise regimen, it would help you shed some weight.

Drea said...

Hang in there.....we're all here for you!

MileMasterSarah said...

ahhh george, hang in there! If I don't keep a food log, I gain like a pig. It is a huge eye opener as to how many calories I am eating per day. It helps keep me in line, too.

Kassie said...

Hang in there George!!

Last I heard, the job of "Ninja" requires that you be smoke-free. You can do it!!!

Bernard said...

George

Sorry you're having a tough time.

Please, please, resist the temptation to smoke. It's not worth the long-term problems. Take this from someone (me) who has serious breathing issues without ever smoking. You don't want to go there.

I'm not exercising enough, but I am exercising more since we got a treadmill in the basement. I can run for 25 minutes while watching the TV. I'm trying to reach 170 calories each time I use the machine. That's enough to drop my bg's, get my heart pounding, and give me a good night's sleep.

What more could you want.

George, I hope that you can get some help with your feet soon. That will help with your exercising.

Hey, how come the icon for your picture? Are you scared of the abuse of your picture. Don't think that will stop us, hehehe!

Lori Rode said...

Dear, dear George. I would still adopt you if you started smoking again. That being said, please don't. I've lost loved ones to lung cancer, smoking & non-smoking and ex-smoking loved ones, and it is a nasty way to go. Hang in there, treat yourself as well as you can. I think the patch idea is a good one to try.