My Sad Little Rose

I hate being sick.

That is probably something we all say when we’re battling a cold or flu. The only good thing about getting sick is remembering to appreciate our health and how very great feeling very great is!

But I would be sick everyday of the year if it meant my children did not have to ever get sick. I hate being sick but I absolutely hate with every ounce of my being my kids getting sick. It drives me nuts to see them suffer. I want to scoop them up and make it all go away. But of course, I cannot.

With that my little Gillian Rose has a cold. Her doctor said that she needs to pay better attention to her body because she was very congested and didn’t really convey that to us. The problem with Gillian’s colds is that her asthma loves to help advance all colds into bronchitis as soon as possible. A few years ago she ended up in the hospital for a few days with pneumonia. That was the worst.

Seeing a little arm with a big IV in it made me so sad. And the one thing I remember more then anything was how she never really cried. I mean, the nurses would wake her up all night for blood tests and urine samples and she would moan a little and grunt here and there but she never freaked out or cried. I was shocked. She was my little 6 year old trooper.

Jasmine and I would sit with her. Laugh with her and kept assuring her that the stuff the doctors were doing were necessary for her health. It was a little heartbreaking for her because she missed my sisters wedding. She did cry a little about that but that was different then crying about what you would figure a little girl in a big scary hospital would be crying about.

She held it together so much better then Jasmine and I did. We would fall apart in the parking lot every time we left. Never in front of her though. We never wanted to scare her. She’s a tough little cookie.

The day she came home, our surrogate family member Lisa and my son decided to put up a “Welcome Home” banner in her room. They also decorated it for her with streamers and balloons. When she got home and saw her room her eyes lit up! She got the huge smile on her face and she slowly took it all in. Then she looked up at me and I finally saw it.

All of the fear. All of the frustration. All of the stuff she was feeling in the hospital was all there. Her big beautiful eyes began filling and spilling tears. I am sure they were sad and happy ones in there. She ran into my arms and we all started crying. For me, all of mine were happy tears and still are because we got through it.

I think she realized also how very great it is to feel very great.