I hardly slept last night.
I tossed and turned so much my fitted sheet came off and I woke my wife fixing it. She was probably awake from the turning and tossing now that I think about it.
My feet were aching all night. This is not pain on the bottom of my feet but it was from my ankles all down through my toes. I am scared of all the pain I keep feeling in my feet. My pulse seems okay and check them daily but the numbness, coldness, and achiness are all scary.
My high blood sugars cannot help I know as well as the gain in weight I have achieved (which is an entirely different post) cannot help either.
Also I have noticed that my socks leave a mark on my ankles that are still there in the morning. Thank cannot be good.
I take a water pill to cut down on the swelling of my feet and ankles but they still swell and hurt all the time.
My last podiatrist gave me D-shoes and sent me walking (pun intended). That was it.
My fear is that the damage I have already done cannot be reversed or that I am doomed to awful complications.
To make it worse, once I did get back to sleep I dreamt that Jasmine was pushing me around in a wheelchair. In the dream I remember quietly crying while she silently pushed me through a park, the whole time never looking down at my feet at all. I could not bring myself to look.
Was it a premonition?
Oh God, I hope not.