Monday, December 22, 2008

Monday. Mourning.

“Go somewhere you can hear me.” My sister’s voice sounded like she had been crying.

I squeezed out the one thing I had to know, “Is mom okay?”

“Yeah, she’s fine.”

I rushed out from the crowded room at the restaurant we went to on Saturday night to celebrate Jasmine’s finish of school. We had about 35 people there to celebrate including my two other sisters.

When I finally got outside, my sister told me that my Aunt had died a few hours before which was a complete shock to everyone. I went back inside, pulled my sisters out of the celebration and told them both.

I am thankful that my family is so close. We are always able to be there for each other, even if they live in a different state.

I would appreciate any thoughts and prayers for my family. My Uncle and cousins (and their children) are all taking this very hard. I worry about all of them and would greatly appreciate that.

Last night we had our annual Blue Christmas service. I wish we did not have to have a service for those who are hurting because it is so sad, but life can hurt. And hurt big sometimes.

I heard many tears and produced many myself. My kids took the death of their great aunt pretty hard. They were close to her and see that their cousins lost their grandma. I think that is what makes it hard for them. They can relate to that and hurt for those kids.

Both of my kids spent some time with our pastor praying for the family. Both went on their own accord and by themselves. I am so thankful that they have hope and they trust God to help through difficult stuff without Jasmine or I pushing them. I love that they have faith and am thankful beyond belief for that.

We stayed up late last night trying to find stuff to laugh about and hugging each other a lot.

This post is a little spacey but that is because I too am spacey right now. This weekend had lots of ups and downs and I am recovering, slowly. I hardly slept last night. Thinking. Crying. Singing.

I kept singing the chorus of a song we sang at the Blue Christmas service.

“Watch O Lord with all those awake this night. Watch O Lord with all those who weep. Give your angels and saints charge over all who sleep.”

9 comments:

Cara said...

Still sending prayers you way.

Sara said...

George -

I am sorry for the loss of your aunt. As you know, my family went through that this summer. This Christmas it has been sad thinking about all the stuff we miss about her during the season but we have also been able to laugh at some of the memories!

I hope you also have fun memories of your aunt!

Andrea said...

I am so sorry about your Aunt... I think I've met her :'(

Every one in your family is so great, it must be doubly horrible to lose one of you.

You guys are in my prayers, all of you Simmons.

~Suzanne~ said...

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your aunt. Someone once told me after the loss of their loved one that "tragedies unite us all" and it is so true. I will keep you and your family in my prayers during this Christmas season.

Scott K. Johnson said...

So sorry to hear about that. My thoughts are with you and your family, and extended family.

Lee Ann Thill said...

I'm so sorry for you and your family, George. There's never a good time for this, but it seems especially difficult when it happens around Christmas. Your aunt was so fortunate to come from a family that will always love and miss her. My thoughts are with you and your family.

tmana said...

George... you have had many trials this year, and this is the latest. Faith is sometimes all that carries us through -- faith in G-d, faith in our fellow-man, faith that the Path we walk will have some sunlight streaming through even the darkest stretches. Know that we face these trials so that we may better minister to others who cross our path, who need that ministry. We who have been gifted with wordcraft and soundcraft can often find healing by crafting songs, prayers, poems, and other art... and in turn, those works of our own healing heal others.

The standard words of condolence we use are, "May you be comforted among the mourners of Zion." More meaningful is the prayer that begins, "We remember" -- for it is in the memories of those who have passed that we craft our better selves, pass on their better selves, and keep alive their good deeds. It is when we do good deeds in their memory, or on their behalf, that we help ourselves -- and the world -- to heal. Your aunt was blessed to have so many relatives to mourn her passing and to remember her life. I know you and your family will keep her memory for a blessing. May peace be upon you all.

George said...

All of this means so much to me. It is all such a comfort. Thank you Thank you Thank you!

<3

Sandy :) said...

Hugs to you George. To all of you. You all are definitely in my thoughts and prayers.