Today is tough day.
March 13th that is.
It was or is or I dunno what the correct terminology should be but March 13th 1949 was the year my father was born.
Today would have been his 60th birthday and it is getting to me, a lot. He has been gone for a long time. Long enough that I am embarrassed that this is even getting the best of me but I cannot stop thinking about him, hearing his voice, picturing him being the comedian he always was, and hearing that laugh. I feel like I should be over it by now or at least not crying about it.
I am not sure why this one is getting to me so much.
Maybe it’s because my son came in first on his 2 mile race yesterday?
Maybe it’s because my daughter is hysterical and totally has his sense of humor?
Maybe it’s because my little sister is about to have her first child and he did not get to meet my kids, my other sisters two kids, and now the new little one coming along soon.
Maybe it’s because tomorrow I have to pick up the last things at our old place and finally be completely done with it?
Maybe it’s because despite all the economic crap my boss still decided to give me a bonus which I do not feel I deserve?
Maybe it’s because all the things and everything about my life I loved to share with him and I cannot.
Today is just too heavy for me.