Monday, March 27, 2006

I Quit!!!!

Last night as I was lying in bed, paying close attention to the tingling in both of my feet and I realized that tonight was the night to finally give up smoking. So far today I have been smoke free but I have to tell you, I m not confident that this is the final battle. I am going to up date often today in hopes that will help me stay on course.

Wish Me Luck!!!!

9:09 AM – Just finished a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast and I am having a nicotine fit! I am chomping on Sugar Free Altoids and they seem to be helping. Oh my gosh, I do not want to screw this up.

10:11 AM - Still have not fallen off the wagon. I am so scared and feel like I am not ready for this. I know it's the nicotine talking. Ohmygoodness, why can't they make cigarettes that are good for you. That would make this a whole lot easier! LOL

11:01 AM - I have had about 5 cups of coffee and just grabbed a couple of pretzels from the community snack shack (a co-workers desk). The more I try to forget about it, the worse it is. I am surprised I have made it this far! I am gonna need some serious strength after lunch. Thanks for the kind words and support.

11:59 AM - Going to lunch. Just checked my Blood Sugar. 254 . Yuck but I know why. I have been scarfing down pretzels like they are going out of style.Ahhh what to do, what to do? I'll post after lunch.

1:16 PM - After lunch is not so bad after all. Since I am constently coughing, the desire to smoke is pretty much non existent. I would suggest you all buy some Altoids stock. I will post a little later.

1:51 PM - I failed. I just bummed a cigarette from a co-worker. I got a bad phone call from an angry customer and I turned into the biggest jerk. I feel like such a loser and a failure. I hate this so much. What should I do? Why did I ever start? I am holding back tears right now just so I don't have to deal with the 3rd degree from my co-workers. I could lose it. I could just wig out which is what I am worried about. Should I try the patch? Gum? I wanted to go Cold Turkey but all it bought me was half a day. I do not want another one but why even try at this point?

Sorry everyone. I let you all down and myself too. What an idiot I am. Why can't I be addicted to exercise or vegetables? Nicotine is so evil. It really has an awful hold on me. I don't even want to publish this post. I am such a weak moron. I guess what is nice is that I can be honest to you but how do I do this? I am willing to listen to any ideas or advise you may have.

I am going to see how long I can go.

I hate myself right now.

7 comments:

Scott K. Johnson said...

GREAT JOB G-Money!!

Smoking sucks - and you should quit just for that! It stinks and makes those around you stink. I hate it.

Not to mention your health. DB already stacks the decks against you, so you need to do the best you can to eliminate the bad stuff.

It will be a lot of hard work, and it will take some time, but your body will thank you for it. Big time.

JUST SAY NO. JUST SAY NO. JUST SAY NO.

You can do it.

George said...

Thanks man.
If I make it to Friday then I am going to buy myself some cologne. I never wore any since you could only smell "Ode (sp?) de Exhaust."
I will keep you posted, keep send positive energy my direction!!

Kerri. said...

I'll be here in RI, sending strength and willpower your way.

I know you can do this!!!

Good luck, G!

Scott K. Johnson said...

Hey George,

You did good. You lasted a whole half a day - cold turkey. That's an accomplishment.

Do not beat yourself up about it. Do not get down on yourself. Easier said than done, but really, you did a good job for that half of the day.

It may be worth some time to look into programs that can help you quit. I know it costs money, and I don't know about you, but I'm perpetually broke. But, I think that you can find a way to do it.

You already took the first step, which was being honest with yourself (and us).

And you should try because 1 cig today is better than however many you would have normally had. You have made progress.

Get some help. I don't smoke, so I don't know how it feels, but being addicted to something is a real bitch. Do some research on what types of things are available.

It's not the end of the world. Just get back on the horse and move towards something positive(working on quitting smoking) and don't move towards the negative (smoking, and/or beating yourself up over your first attempt to quit).

You are stronger than cigarettes.

Gen said...

Hiya!

I also have Type I diabetes and I also smoke. Aiming to quit before May 31, because it will be forbidden in Qu├ębec to smoke anywhere, even in bars (Gheez!!). Total bummer. I totally get you. So will be reading your blog for inspiration!

xo,

Gen, fellow blogger from Montreal

Penny said...

George,
I have never smoked, but my dad smoked for 30 years before he quit. He hasn't smoked in over 10 years now.
He used gum for a few days, but said it didn't really help, so then he basically quit cold turkey.
The biggest thing that bothered him was that he kept his cigarettes in his shirt pocket. He noticed he kept reaching in his pocket all the time for his cigarettes. So, he started putting mints in his pocket. Every time he wanted a cigarette, go popped a mint (sugar free) instead. Don't know if this helps.
I am thinking about you. I know this must be hard, but you can do it.

Shannon said...

Quitting will be hardest thing you'll ever have to do!!!!!!!

I've never smoked, but my family members did (key word here is "did" as in past tense).

My mom says that she always wanted a cigarette and you never get over wanting one, but it gets easier to resist.

It's all a matter of distracting yourself to prevent from picking up a cigarette.

The heaviest smokers in my family have been able to quit...and they haven't picked up a cigarette in years.

It's possible, just keep plowing through, and eventually you'll be able to wake up one day and not even think about wanting a cigarette...

And then when you do smell cigarettes, it'll smell disgusting instead of enticing (take it from a second hand smoker...me).

I'm rooting for you...please don't give up!!!!