When I stepped into the waiting room, I knew it was going to be an adventure. There looked to be only half a dozen available seats in the large oval room. There were chairs lining the Pepto colored walls and two rows of chairs in the middle of the oval back to back. Sort of the “Mushpot” area in the middle of the room.
I walked up to the counter and signed in. The lady behind the counter with way too much eye make up on shot me a glance, almost as if I was annoying her. I just entered the last bit of info, 4:22 check in time, and found a seat.
Ah, a seat right by the door with a buffer seat between me and the stranger near by. This is prime real estate in a crowded waiting room. I sit down, fold my arms, and wait to be tortured.
“George Simons?” says Eye Make-up Girl (ugh, it’s Simmons. Two M’s people!)
So I go up to the counter pay my co-payment and turn around to see that a mom and her kid walked in and took my seat. Great. The only spots available were in the middle of the room. GREAT!
So there I sit. Right in the middle of the room. If I look up, I am either staring at the backside of a patient at the counter OR I am face to face with EMG. “Please call me next. The drops are not as bad as this.” I whisper under my breath.
While I am sitting there I hear EMG answering phone calls and making appointments for people later in the week and some next week. I remember back to when I called EMG and asked for an appointment.
**in sitcom fashion the scene becomes blurry and I go back in time for a moment***
“We have an appointment available on the 29th of January. Would that work?” EMG says.
“January? But it is November. You have nothing available until next year?”
“That’s it.”
“… okay I will take it.”
“George Simons?” (ugh)
**Flashback sequence has ended**
I spring up and dash to the meet the Ophthalmologist at the door. I remembered her from last year. Then the next chapter of the nightmare begins.
“So how is your blood sugar? Are you stable?”
“Well, it is better then before. I mean, it is a constant struggle.”
“I understand.” She said. “So, what we are going to do is put some drops in your eyes to dilate them so I can look inside and see if the diabetes has affected your eyes.”
“Right,” I said “just like last year.”
“Well, you will have to have this test every year until you are off medication or considered a ‘non-diabetic.”
Did she really just say that? Anyway, I make a mental note to mention that here and I continue on.
She puts 2 drops in each eye and then starts typing in some stuff into her computer. Wow, it is not so bad. Maybe they got new drops. Molasses free drops or something. That was not nearly as bad as I remember.
Then she says, “Oh I need to put one more drop in.”
She must have found them. But these drops were “extra spicy” because the stung like hell!
I sat there trying to blink while she continued to type info into the computer.
“The last time you were here I see that we showed you the video about how Diabetes affects the eyes. I am going to show you a video about LASIK surgery. We offer that here in our office and I am sure you are curious about it since you wear glasses.” She double clicks. “I’ll be back when you are dilated.”
I am thankful because I did not have to go into the waiting room BUT she is putting a video on her computer screen for me to watch when I CANNOT SEE!!!
Seconds into this video and I am completely grossed out. I cannot see it but hearing the host describe the cutting and folding of the eye totally freaked me out! The best part was at the very end of the movie I hear, “most people are good candidates for LASIK except for some pregnant woman and diabetics.” Nice.
She comes back in and does the exam. I do know where you can purchase lights that harbor the intensity of 1000 suns but apparently ophthalmologists know. Oh my goodness, I swear that cannot be good for your eyes.
She said that she saw several spots where the blood vessels are bleeding but that is to be expected. It is nothing to be alarmed about (I am alarmed anyway). She said that there is one that is close to the center of my retina and that she would like me back in 6 months to have it looked at. She goes on to say that if this particular spot was more to the side she would not even worry about it.
I am worried anyway. Should I be? OC please tell me what I should do. I am nervous. Can I trust this person after the other things she did? I hate not feeling confident with my health care.
So that was it. I come back in 6 months for another adventure. Looks like Karma got me for saying it was the worst day of the year. Now I get two.
Jinxes suck.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
You Tube Tuesday #5
Tomorrow I will post about my adventure at the Ophthalmologists office.
Today I give you another kitty video but this one blew me away. I have NEVER seen a cat like this before.
Check it out.
Today I give you another kitty video but this one blew me away. I have NEVER seen a cat like this before.
Check it out.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Could anything be worse?
Maybe being trapped at a Michael Bolton concert? I dunno.
For me, this is always the WORST DAY OF THE YEAR.
Annual Eye Exam Day.
I remember back to the first time I had this done and how the Ophthalmologist put 8 drops in each eye to get my eyes to dilate. No other doctor has ever had to use that many so I am convinced that my first Ophthalmologist must not have liked me.
I feel a rant coming on…
Seriously folks, how can it help the doctor to see if Diabetes has affected my eyes when the eye drops are made of molasses? At least that is what it feels like. Or, I would describe it as drops that make your eyes 10 times their normal size and your poor little lids try their darndest to get over them. Like I need any more stretch marks. Loverly.
I hate having to sit in the waiting room watching the world blur up even worse then it already does without my glasses. Picking up magazines trying to identify what or who is on the cover of Time from 1988 since the newer issues have not made it out from the break room to the common folk.
I hate this day so much.
Deep down I know that this is for the best. I know that without this procedure there is a possibility that the “D” will wreak havoc on my eyes without me noticing it physically until it is too late.
Hell, maybe it has.
Maybe that is what I hate the most. The idea that this afternoon I may find out that becoming a B.A.D. a year ago was just too little too late. The thought of it sickens me. I am terrified of going blind, losing my toes, needing to be on dialysis. All of that stuff that is possibly in my future. At least that is what every brochure I have ever seen always said.
Tomorrow is always the best day of the year for me.
Here’s to tomorrow.
For me, this is always the WORST DAY OF THE YEAR.
Annual Eye Exam Day.
I remember back to the first time I had this done and how the Ophthalmologist put 8 drops in each eye to get my eyes to dilate. No other doctor has ever had to use that many so I am convinced that my first Ophthalmologist must not have liked me.
I feel a rant coming on…
Seriously folks, how can it help the doctor to see if Diabetes has affected my eyes when the eye drops are made of molasses? At least that is what it feels like. Or, I would describe it as drops that make your eyes 10 times their normal size and your poor little lids try their darndest to get over them. Like I need any more stretch marks. Loverly.
I hate having to sit in the waiting room watching the world blur up even worse then it already does without my glasses. Picking up magazines trying to identify what or who is on the cover of Time from 1988 since the newer issues have not made it out from the break room to the common folk.
I hate this day so much.
Deep down I know that this is for the best. I know that without this procedure there is a possibility that the “D” will wreak havoc on my eyes without me noticing it physically until it is too late.
Hell, maybe it has.
Maybe that is what I hate the most. The idea that this afternoon I may find out that becoming a B.A.D. a year ago was just too little too late. The thought of it sickens me. I am terrified of going blind, losing my toes, needing to be on dialysis. All of that stuff that is possibly in my future. At least that is what every brochure I have ever seen always said.
Tomorrow is always the best day of the year for me.
Here’s to tomorrow.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Master P Has My Back!
Literally.
I have decided to try a new site on my back. Well as far around my side and I can twist (without dancing of course). And something very strange happened. My BG has been very VERY good.
Now, I can honestly say that I have not changed my eating habits or really anything else that would attribute except for this site change. Could a site in a very good spot make this big of a difference? It makes me wonder if I have a lot of scar tissue in my stomach or something that is causing bad absorption.
Either way I am enjoying the great BG’s and the AWESOME *Postprandial BG’s! I had been running high for so long. It is nice to actually have a few Hypo’s (I know that sounds awful but I think you all know what I mean).
Do any of you find that this is an issue? All those years taking shots only in my stomach, I wonder if I ruined the real estate. That would be a shame since it has increased in size recently. That is a lot of potential land to lose! LOL
*Postprandial BG = After mealtime Blood Glucose
I have decided to try a new site on my back. Well as far around my side and I can twist (without dancing of course). And something very strange happened. My BG has been very VERY good.
Now, I can honestly say that I have not changed my eating habits or really anything else that would attribute except for this site change. Could a site in a very good spot make this big of a difference? It makes me wonder if I have a lot of scar tissue in my stomach or something that is causing bad absorption.
Either way I am enjoying the great BG’s and the AWESOME *Postprandial BG’s! I had been running high for so long. It is nice to actually have a few Hypo’s (I know that sounds awful but I think you all know what I mean).
Do any of you find that this is an issue? All those years taking shots only in my stomach, I wonder if I ruined the real estate. That would be a shame since it has increased in size recently. That is a lot of potential land to lose! LOL
*Postprandial BG = After mealtime Blood Glucose
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
You Tube Tuesday #4
A friend of mine swears that this exercise fad helped her lose 30 pounds.
I must confess that I did try it once. It is hard to do any of this program without laughing or continually making sure no one is watching. I think this was the only time in my life I have ever been embarrassed while being completely alone.
*EDIT 1/25/07 - The original clip I posted was taken down. I found another one. I had to have something for you all to see!
I must confess that I did try it once. It is hard to do any of this program without laughing or continually making sure no one is watching. I think this was the only time in my life I have ever been embarrassed while being completely alone.
*EDIT 1/25/07 - The original clip I posted was taken down. I found another one. I had to have something for you all to see!
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Everything Happens for a Reason
But there was a very good reason why.
The African Children's Choir came to our church this morning and led worship.Wow.
Now, I know not all of you are church goers which is fine. I will not get all Gospel on you so don't run away. This post is for everyone in need of a little hope.
Today, St. Andrew Lutheran Church was blessed to have 26 children from Uganda come and lead them in worship. Their songs and stories were so touching and moving that I actually came back for the second service just to see them again.
The 14 girls and 12 boys came dancing into the sanctuary to the sound of booming tribal drums, being played by 3 of the boys, and singing at the top of their lungs. Instantly a wave of excitement rushed over everyone in church.
Their brightly colored outfits were only outshone by their enthusiastic smiles. Each one with a different story, a unique path, their own hopes and dreams. It was incredible.
After energizing uplifting versions of songs we sing in church and soft, touching slower songs that were new to me, a video was shown about the group. I thought I was done crying but I was wrong.
On the screen were images of Uganda in times of war and famine. The war may be over but the famine and poverty remain. The video was narrated by a woman who was in the very first ACC and she is now a journalist.
She told stories of other children who are now doctors, lawyers, and engineers in their home country. It was awesome to see how the money they have raised has made a difference. How these kids that may not have had a chance, now have a future.
The other thing about it is that they want to help their country. They do not take their new knowledge and go elsewhere. They come back to their towns and villages and help their own people. It is a very beautiful journey.
These little kids singing have auditioned and been accepted to go on this mission. They are ambassadors for their country. Representatives of all the other kids that did not make the choir but are in need of an education just the same. They travel the world singing and spreading their message of hope.
Raising awarness. Raising funds. Raising spirits!
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Momma Mia!
In November my older (not oldest) sister and her family moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico. I am extremely close with all 3 of my sisters and it has been difficult for all of us to adjust to the move but we are very happy for them. I know that they are just a phone call away BUT I miss being able to go out to dinner with them or see my nieces. It has been especially hard on my daughter because she looks to her cousin as her little “sister” and was very sad when they left.
Well, the plan for me, my little sister, and her husband was to drive out to
Well, the plan for me, my little sister, and her husband was to drive out to
New Mexico tonight and see them. I was able to get tomorrow off of work
and since the African Children’s Choir (who are awesome by the way) are leading church on Sunday it was a perfect weekend to go EXCEPT that mother nature had another plan. There are extreme weather alerts issued for basically our entire route to NM. Lovely.
I really upset because I miss my sister and my nieces something fierce and was looking forward to seeing her new home and Albuquerque but oh well.
Since I am a Native of Southern California, my experience with driving through snow is nonexistent. I know some of you are used to the snow but I am not. Although, it was snowing at the beach yesterday so maybe I should head over to Malibu and get some lessons in. I don’t know about global warming BUT the weather is definitely Bizarro!
So I am now planning on staying home and spoiling my daughter rotten. My son is going to a Confirmation retreat this weekend so Gillian is going to get all of our attention. I promise if she decides to give me a makeover, I will post pictures. No matter how embarrassing.
I really upset because I miss my sister and my nieces something fierce and was looking forward to seeing her new home and Albuquerque but oh well.
Since I am a Native of Southern California, my experience with driving through snow is nonexistent. I know some of you are used to the snow but I am not. Although, it was snowing at the beach yesterday so maybe I should head over to Malibu and get some lessons in. I don’t know about global warming BUT the weather is definitely Bizarro!
So I am now planning on staying home and spoiling my daughter rotten. My son is going to a Confirmation retreat this weekend so Gillian is going to get all of our attention. I promise if she decides to give me a makeover, I will post pictures. No matter how embarrassing.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
You Tube Tuesday #3
As a Diabetic, I know the vital importance of good medical care. Let's hope these two found Moe and changed careers immediately following this embarrassing moment. Also, I feel bad for the patient! Check it out.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
525,600 Minutes
It was 365 days ago that I decided to begin blogging. It all started as a place for family and friends to see my progress as I tried to make some changes in my life. Get more exercise. Try to be a little more in control of my diabetes. Lose some weight.
And then it happened.
I got a comment from some dude named Scott!
I remember thinking, "That is crazy. Why would anyone who didn't know me comment on my blog or even want to read it?"
So then I clicked on his name and read his post. Then I clicked on a few of the blogs linked on his blog. And then it all made sense to me. I understood why.
Community.
That is what this year of blogging has taught me. That community is so important to handle difficult tasks in life. A group of people lifting each other up and cheering one another on is vital in this journey. It is hard to imagine where I would be had I not started blogging and reading and meeting (virtually) all of you.
Many people do not understand blogging. They think it is a self glorifying, conceited thing but they are missing the point entirely. If they just opened themselves up and let loose all of the frustrations and anxieties they have then they may find that they are not alone. They may find a community that understands their situation.
That is what happened to me and it has been wonderful! Not in a "misery loves company" sort of way but more of a "I understand completely" way that people without diabetes (or without diabetes in their lives) cannot get.
I truly believe that the OC saved my life. All of your kind words and ideas gave me tools to take better care of myself. Both mental and physical. I wish I could fly all around the world and meet each and every one of you. Hopefully this lottery ticket on my desk will allow me to do just that!
All of you mean so much to me. I hope I can cheer you along and be there for you in your journey.
I know I am not the most eloquent writer. Definitely not the most informative. Probably the silliest, though. So thank you for reading this slice of my life and hopefully sticking with me for another 525,600 minutes.
Sincerely,
The B.A.D. Guy
aka Super George
And then it happened.
I got a comment from some dude named Scott!
I remember thinking, "That is crazy. Why would anyone who didn't know me comment on my blog or even want to read it?"
So then I clicked on his name and read his post. Then I clicked on a few of the blogs linked on his blog. And then it all made sense to me. I understood why.
Community.
That is what this year of blogging has taught me. That community is so important to handle difficult tasks in life. A group of people lifting each other up and cheering one another on is vital in this journey. It is hard to imagine where I would be had I not started blogging and reading and meeting (virtually) all of you.
Many people do not understand blogging. They think it is a self glorifying, conceited thing but they are missing the point entirely. If they just opened themselves up and let loose all of the frustrations and anxieties they have then they may find that they are not alone. They may find a community that understands their situation.
That is what happened to me and it has been wonderful! Not in a "misery loves company" sort of way but more of a "I understand completely" way that people without diabetes (or without diabetes in their lives) cannot get.
I truly believe that the OC saved my life. All of your kind words and ideas gave me tools to take better care of myself. Both mental and physical. I wish I could fly all around the world and meet each and every one of you. Hopefully this lottery ticket on my desk will allow me to do just that!
All of you mean so much to me. I hope I can cheer you along and be there for you in your journey.
I know I am not the most eloquent writer. Definitely not the most informative. Probably the silliest, though. So thank you for reading this slice of my life and hopefully sticking with me for another 525,600 minutes.
Sincerely,
The B.A.D. Guy
aka Super George
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Here comes the sun
My posts have been pretty depressing these days and I apologize for that. I have not been posting as much because I would hate to disappoint my readers with drab, “poor me” crap that I do not even want to admit.
Last year this time I was ready to take on Diabetes, Weight Loss, and whatever other hurdlers I was running up to. I just feel so defeated right now. I am fighting a cold so my BG sucks, my ability to exercise has been difficult since I cannot breathe. Not the way to start the OC New Me Challenge but I will get in gear.
The OC New Me is going to be my saving grace. I need motivation. I need encouragement. Thanks Allison.
I cannot look at the dorky picture of myself and not feel like I have lost a connection somewhere. It is truly a strange feeling. I don’t think it will last. Hope, I should say, I hope it will not last.
You know what, I need to just change. I need to count my blessings, look back at all I accomplished, remember that the toughest hurdles have been passed with ease and now it is time to kick some major ass.
I am done with it. No more sorrow. I do not have time for this shit.
It may be a little forced at first but eventually it will be totally genuine.
Last year this time I was ready to take on Diabetes, Weight Loss, and whatever other hurdlers I was running up to. I just feel so defeated right now. I am fighting a cold so my BG sucks, my ability to exercise has been difficult since I cannot breathe. Not the way to start the OC New Me Challenge but I will get in gear.
The OC New Me is going to be my saving grace. I need motivation. I need encouragement. Thanks Allison.
I cannot look at the dorky picture of myself and not feel like I have lost a connection somewhere. It is truly a strange feeling. I don’t think it will last. Hope, I should say, I hope it will not last.
You know what, I need to just change. I need to count my blessings, look back at all I accomplished, remember that the toughest hurdles have been passed with ease and now it is time to kick some major ass.
I am done with it. No more sorrow. I do not have time for this shit.
It may be a little forced at first but eventually it will be totally genuine.
Here comes the sun!
Monday, January 08, 2007
You Tube Tuesday #2
We got a Wii for Christmas. It is as fun as it looks although I have had several Wii induced hypos recently!
This is the first video game that my wife, daughter, and even my MOTHER likes.
It is so much fun! Playing with the kids helps me with this funkiness I have been feeling. They are a total antidepressant.
This is the first video game that my wife, daughter, and even my MOTHER likes.
It is so much fun! Playing with the kids helps me with this funkiness I have been feeling. They are a total antidepressant.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Rhetorical? You can decide.
I am in a strange place today.
There is something disturbing about being down in the dumps for no apparent reason. I just woke up wishing I did not have to wake up. Not like a tired feeling just a feeling of “I do not want to interact with anyone today.”
Does that ever happen to you? Do you ever just wake up in a mood that makes no sense? I am finding that things that should make me happy are not doing so much for me today.
My brain is overloaded with thoughts and ideas that I cannot make sense of. I am not sleeping well because I cannot shut my brain off and I cannot focus on anything. Here I am at work, not working but posting on my blog. I have a million things to do and I have no clue where to start or what has to be done. Not that I want to do anything anyway. I feel like I am in a dream and not a good one.
Ugh, I am getting more depressed just reading what I have written.
Is this a side effect of diabetes? It always seems like everything is connected to the D somehow. At that same time I think that I blame Diabetes for everything. Do I use it as a cop out? I actually said, after getting into an argument with my wife the other day, “Well maybe I need to check my blood!” Have I turned into a pathetic loser who hides behind his disease? Is there a Diabetes Card and am I playing it?
This is difficult to ask but is there a point where Diabetics can take advantage of their disease? Can I blame the Bete for things and not own my own “issues?”
Maybe I should check my blood?
I quit.
There is something disturbing about being down in the dumps for no apparent reason. I just woke up wishing I did not have to wake up. Not like a tired feeling just a feeling of “I do not want to interact with anyone today.”
Does that ever happen to you? Do you ever just wake up in a mood that makes no sense? I am finding that things that should make me happy are not doing so much for me today.
My brain is overloaded with thoughts and ideas that I cannot make sense of. I am not sleeping well because I cannot shut my brain off and I cannot focus on anything. Here I am at work, not working but posting on my blog. I have a million things to do and I have no clue where to start or what has to be done. Not that I want to do anything anyway. I feel like I am in a dream and not a good one.
Ugh, I am getting more depressed just reading what I have written.
Is this a side effect of diabetes? It always seems like everything is connected to the D somehow. At that same time I think that I blame Diabetes for everything. Do I use it as a cop out? I actually said, after getting into an argument with my wife the other day, “Well maybe I need to check my blood!” Have I turned into a pathetic loser who hides behind his disease? Is there a Diabetes Card and am I playing it?
This is difficult to ask but is there a point where Diabetics can take advantage of their disease? Can I blame the Bete for things and not own my own “issues?”
Maybe I should check my blood?
I quit.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
You Tube Tuesday #1
One of my many resolutions this year is to add some "regular features" on the old Blog so every Tuesday you can expect a new You Tube video.
Some may be funny. Thought provoking. Who knows. Some may even be original Super George movies! :) Anyhow, enjoy the clip and take a look at a 10 hour time lapse video of what cats do all day!
Some may be funny. Thought provoking. Who knows. Some may even be original Super George movies! :) Anyhow, enjoy the clip and take a look at a 10 hour time lapse video of what cats do all day!
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