Back in May I took some time away from the blogging world to try and get my head around some serious life changes that were potentially coming up.
That change came.
As of November 1st I am once again a renter.
I want to tell you the whole story but my heart cannot bring myself to do that just yet. I will tell you that I am thankful that we found a home we can afford. I feel blessed that we are living within the same block in the same school district with bedrooms for all and even a landlord that welcomed our dog Teddy.
I am excited about what lies ahead with this new beginning.
The hard part is ignoring the years of wreckage lying behind me. We have lived in our home for almost 11 years. And now all we have are memories.
The most amazing thing about this entire situation is the attitude of my children. We sat them both down and told them that we were going to have to move and that we may have to move so far that they would have to change schools.
George understood and said, “You know what Dad that house is falling apart and it will be good to start over with something nicer and better.”
Gillian was the one who blew us both away. She interrupted and said, “But Georgie I am the only one who can get really upset about all of this!” We all looked at her trying to understand where she was coming from. She went on, “That is the only home I have ever lived in. I was brought home from the hospital into that house so really, I am the only one who has never lived anywhere else!”
I couldn’t say a word. My eyes were filled with tears and my heart stung in my chest. I was such a failure. I failed my kids and my daughter was calling me out, right here at a restaurant.
She continued, “But you know what dad, it’s just a house. Wherever we go will be our home. It’s just a house, it doesn’t matter.”
Through the same tears that are in my eyes now as I write this I said, “Gillian, whatever you do, never forget that. You’re 10 and you understand something that many adults don’t. Walls and a roof may make a house, but they cannot make a home.”
I may have failed at keeping my house, but I succeeded at raising amazing children.
It’s just a house. It doesn’t matter.
We will always have a home wherever that may be.