Time's up!

Ah, 2006 is coming to a close or already has depending on when you read this.

Just some bullet points to round out the year. So here it goes.

• Today is my wife's birthday! I totally robbed the cradle! :)
• Did you vote for the 2006 OC Blog awards? If not, you should go vote now!
  
• I have not heard much about little O. I hope to find out more when the kids get back to school.
• My boss' wife is making huge strides everyday! "It is like a little miracle every morning" is how he describes it. So awesome.
• I am fat. I will not be anymore. Wanna join the OC New Me Challenge? C'mon we will have a blast and encourage one another all year long!!!
• If you smoke and want to stop, this is what I used and it helped. I am still smoke free.
• M is doing great! He has amazing parents and an awesome sister too!
  

2006 was filled with so many ups and downs as every year is I guess. The best thing about this year is honestly this Blog and the OC and just how life changing this has all been. All of you have helped me to take better care of myself. All of you have inspired me in so many ways. I just wish I could meet all of you and give each one of you a very well deserved hug as a "thanks."

I hope you all have a very wonderful, safe, and happy New Year celebration.


And I'll type at ya next year! ;)

IT IS TIME MY FRIENDS!!!

I know you are all sick of hearing me complain about my every growing waistline.

Well, my friends, Allison (OC keeper upper person and much more) has come up with a way that we can get our weight and our A1C where we want them to be. And also have a lot of fun doing it!

PLEASE CHECK OUT "The OC New Me Challenge"

This is just what I have been looking for. I cannot wait until the end of 2007 when we are all feeling better about ourselves and I will be able to fit in a chair with arms again.

FYI - I had an endo appointment on Thursday and...

I hate to admit this...

I have officially acheived the absolute fattest I have ever been.

Thanks Allison. This is perfect timing.

2 hours

I feel terrible. I am as sick as a dog right now. My throat feels like I have swallowed shards of glass. I am coughing constantly and if I were to run into Happy, Bashful, Dopey, Grumpy, Sleepy and Doc I could jump right in to complete the group (get it?).

So, I went to Urgent Care tonight to get some much needed drugs and when I walk in the door I see that there are only 2 seats available in entire waiting room.

"Um, how long is the wait?"

"2 hours."

"k. Buh bye."

The only worse then waiting in a waiting room when you are sick for TWO HOURS is knowing the whole time that the very first thing you are going to do after those TWO HOURS is stand on a scale to find out how much fatter your ass is now.

I left. I could not torture myself.

I have an endo appointment tomorrow (lovely, they do the scale thing too) and maybe he can give me some drugs after he asks, "So how's your diabetes?"

ugh

Send me some Calgon please

Very Merry!

Happy Holidays to all of the OC! I hope you have very merry Christmas!

Blue Christmas

December 21^st is the longest night of the year. Each year on this evening, my church has a service called the Blue Christmas service. The Blue Christmas service was started because so many people find that the holidays are not all “happy-go-lucky.” It’s a service to let those people know that it is okay to feel that way and that God is there for them. Even in their Valleys. He will see you through until you reach the mountaintops again.

Last year my little sister and I led the music for the service and we are doing the same this year. It was a very peaceful and comfortable place for those that needed it. I am so thankful that I belong to a church that recognizes that life is not all hunky dory and that even church goes lose hope and stumble in their faith.

One song that we will sing tonight is called “All that I can say” by David Crowder. I love the message in this song about how we try to do our best but sometimes we are just spent and empty. We all get there. Please read the words below and let them seek in.

Lord I'm tired, so tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark is creeping in
It’s creeping up to swallow me
I think I'll stop & rest here a while

Chorus:
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give

And didn't You see me cry'n?
And didn't You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember where you sat it down

Chorus:
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give

I didn't notice You were standing here
I didn't know that that was You holding me
I didn't notice You were cry'n too
I didn't know that that was You washing my feet

Chorus:
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give

At the end of the service there are several stations that the congregation can visit to enhance their worship time. One is a candle lighting area where you can light a candle for a loved one or yourself. Almost like a mini memorial for someone who is hurting or someone who is no longer here.

A “burden rock” station where you can take a rock and squeeze it while you let go of all of your burdens and worries and then drop the rock into a basin of water. Sort of a symbolic “letting go” of your troubles. We have a small fountain running close to this station and the sound is very serene.

There is also a station where you can pray with a pastor one on one in a private room so it is totally confidential. I found this to be the most moving for me. I really just let go last year and felt a lot better afterward

The “manger station” has a wooden manger filled with strips of cloth. People are encouraged to take a strip of cloth with them and tie to the gear shift in their car or somewhere visible as a reminder that when God came to earth He was just a little baby swaddled in cloth. And that He is here for you always.

A communion station where you can receive communion which is very symbolic for most believers.

The Labyrinth Station is one that I try to visit often throughout the year. One of the teenaged members of our church built this Labyrinth as his Eagle Scout project. He of course had many members of his Troop help but it has turned into a very important part of our church. When you walk its path, you are encouraged to just empty your mind and allow your thoughts to trail off. I have experienced sorrow, clarity, laughter, hope, and peace during a walk on a Labyrinth.

The path is not a maze. It is a single path that has many twists and turns but always leads to the center and the path out is the same. It is very symbolic of life, “The path of life.” When there are others walking the Labyrinth with you, you are sometimes directly next to someone and then a quick turn can come and you will not see them for the rest of your walk. Also, you can be passed up or pass people on your path. All of these ideas came to me as I walked my first Labyrinth. If there is one near by you I would highly recommend it. Not only is it a great way to meditate but it is a nice walk. I should also mention that when you stand outside of the Labyrinth and watch people walk it, it looks almost like a dance. A very beautiful and graceful dance.

My church tries to create an environment where we can worship with our complete bodies. When you can not only worship with your heart but also your entire being, you tend to experience it more often throughout the day. At least for me it helps.

I am going to think about the OC a lot tonight and about all of the struggles and trials we all face. Regardless of your beliefs, please know that tonight I will be praying that each of you has a night filled with peace.

Sincerely,
George

Christmas Season Tag!

My brutha from anotha mutha Scott tagged me. I am supposed to list my top 5 favorite holiday songs. Now I could list the traditional stuff but you all know that would not be like me so here it goes.

5. Soulful Christmas – James Brown – This song is hilarious, especially when the line “James Brown loves you” is sung. I laugh everytime!

4. The Christmas Song – Whitney Houston – What makes this a gem is her bad improvising (think American Idol tryouts) and the fact that she sings, “to see if Reindeers really know how to fly!” Really Whitney? ReinDEERS? Wow.

3. Little Drummer Boy – David Bowie & Bing Crosby – This one is for real. I love this version and although it is weird watching the two of them singing together, it truly is a beautiful song. Check that out.

2. Do They Know It’s Christmas Time – Band Aid – Before USA for Africa. Before Farm aid. Band Aid sang this awesome song. With Bono, Simon le Bon (Duran Duran!), Paul Young, and many others, how could this not be great! I love this song.

And my number one pick this holiday season.

1.The Heat Meiser Song – From TV’s Christmas Special “A Year Without a Santa Claus.” I am sure many of you remember those claymation type Christmas specials like “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” and “Santa Claus is coming to town” but this one was my favorite. Cold Meiser is pretty sweet too but HM’s hair-do gives him the win! Check it out!



I tag Minnesota Nice, Keith, MileMasterSarah, and my sista from anotha mista Allison.

1 Week Weigh In

Stepped on the scale this morning.

Gained 2 pounds.

Have a nice “effing” day George.

Insulin and Humor

Both are medicines I need and thankfully they have helped a lot recently.

If you have not been by Scott's blog lately then please take a trip over there and read this post and also all of the comments about it. Go ahead, I'll wait til you get back...

So? What did you think?

I know! I was cracking up too! Bernard is quite the Photoshop Ninja. Not only is he skilled in computer programs but he has a great sense of humor Between him and Scott and all of the comments, man it made me feel better.

I have been sort of in the dumps lately and rightfully so. There is some crappy stuff going on and stuff to be happy about but I just could not get out of the dumps.

Last night our very good family friend decided to drop by and give us a present he bought for our family for Christmas. He is going to be busy all week and will not see us before Christmas so he wanted to come by and give us a gift he got for the whole family. He is one of those people that loves to see people open the gift he purchases to see their reaction.

I should tell you that Anthony is a very good friend and my kids call him "Uncle" so the dude knows me and my family very well. I think I probably got more excited then anyone else when Gillian opened the gift.

**On a side note, Gillian asked who should open the gift and I said, "You open it sweety since you are the newest member of the family." HA HA**

When she opened the gift I saw this...


So sweet. I have already beat the game in Easy and Medium mode. I think that is all I am allowed to do at this age. My rock star fantasy days are long gone. One of these days I will have to post some pictures of my band and how crazy I looked way back then. ha ha ha

Anyhow, I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who commented on my last post. I know it was harsh and a little disturbing but a very good OC friend of mine told me to always just be yourself when you write which is what I do.

I think about terrible things like that occasionally and I think we all do sometimes. I guess I was too close to a computer when those bad thoughts hit me and you were its victims. Sorry about that.

So I will leave you with this.

I hate my imagination sometimes

On Sunday morning my boss' wife had a major stroke. She woke up in the morning and tried to say that something was wrong but only a slurred moan came out of her mouth. My boss asked her to squeeze his hands. Her right hand was strong. Her left hand was not moving at all.

He called 911 and it all began.

Life changed forever for them. She is 53 (I believe) and before this, in good health. Both of them are active in their church, community, and their careers. Both are very good people who love each other very much. Both will never be the same.

When I heard this story, with my jaw hanging open in disbelief, the picture in my head was of my wife making a phone call to her work. Explaining how she was not going to be in for who knows how long. Telling her co-workers that she will keep in touch and let them know what is going on later that day. Asking everyone for their prayers and thoughts. I kept seeing myself in that hospital bed with my poor wife going through all of the crap.

I could not stop crying pretty much all day. Every time I heard the story told to a co-worker who had not heard, I would see my wife again calling all of our loved ones informing them of the incident.

I felt guilty. Who am I to think of myself when they obviously need all of my thoughts and prayers right now? I could not help it. Sometimes things that hit close to home take over your mind.

I remember back about 5 years ago when my doctor at the time told me that if I didn't quit smoking within a year that I should expect to have a stroke. I just quit this year so what damage has already been done? Who knows?

The fact is that regardless of how great I take care of myself, the odds are against me. Diabetes is most likely going to kill me and probably not in one swift blow. The thought of deteriorating scares me so much.

I am not afraid of death but I am terrified of dying.

I already feel bad about what my wife will go through someday. I want to apologize now for it while I still can. Not that I expect it to happen tomorrow or even next year. But just like what happened to my boss and his wife, you never know when something like this will happen.

Let's all live each day to the fullest because you just never know.

A Package on My Porch

I was just about to turn into my driveway when I noticed there was a package leaning up against my front door.

As soon as I got inside I hurried out to the front door to see what the heck was sent to us and who it was for. Lo and behold I see the label and it has my name on it.

Hmm...

Who would send me a package and call me G-Money??? I wonder.... OH YEAH!!!

SCOTT!!!

I forgot all about winning Scott's infamous (and kinda gnarly (just kidding)) "AUTS" contest!

He did say,

"G-Money - your prize will arrive at your place soon.
I've got the perfect gift in mind, and I'm sure you'll love it!"

Well, he was absolutely correct.


I LOVE the far side. I guess my twisted sense of humor is pretty apparent here at The B.A.D. Blog. There are some things you just cannot hide.

Scott and I always joke about being separated at birth or something. I think this is further proof that our parents have some explaining to do.

Thanks man, that was an awesome prize and a lot of fun!

Magic Monday

There is something about Monday's for me. If I am going to start any new habit or kick an old one, I have to begin on a Monday.

This Monday will be the beginning of the next phase in my path to healthiness. Starting tomorrow I will begin to eat less/healthier, exercise, and generally make some better choices each day as far as my long term health is concerned.

I have been complaining a lot recently about all of the weight I have put on and it has gotten to the point where I can hardly fit into my clothes any longer. I spent all weekend in a really bad mood (I am also fighting a cold) because I cannot button a single pair of my shorts. It is beyond disgusting. It is time now to do something about it.

So, each Monday morning I will post my amount of poundage lost if any. I am not going to post my weight since, I am too embarrassed to share that info. I think the progress is more important anyway, right?

Let's see how this goes. Stay tuned.

Do any of you have to wait until Monday's to start (or end) a habit?

The Beatis Song!

Okay, I hope this does not offend anyone because I think it is awesome and so funny!

If only I can figure out a way to get this on my Ipod!

All Apologies

I was in a very sad place the other night when I posted. I should really “sleep on it” before I decide to hit “publish.” I am sorry for posting such a downer post.

I must explain to you all that I put no real thoughts into my posts. I usually have a feeling, story, experience, or whatever and decide to share it with all of you. If I were to try and formulate a post I can guarantee that I would never ever post anything. I am very critical of myself and that is why my blog is so random sometimes.

In real life I am a pretty open guy. I am willing to talk about my life to pretty much anyone. I feel like I have nothing to hide and besides, maybe someone can learn something from one my mistakes or successes. I truly do like to help people if I can.

Last night at church Band Practice we started singing Christmas songs to prepare for the holiday services. I lead the contemporary band at church and on Christmas Eve we lead the music at the 5PM family service. While we were singing “What Child is This” I started thinking about the post below and about how much I have to be thankful and happy for especially during this time of the year. I thought about all of the nice comments and people who gave me ((hugs)) which are as awesome as real ones. It really warmed me up from the inside out.

Then I remembered that at my church we have a service called the “Blue Christmas” service. Made for people that are not in a “Holly Jolly” mood for whatever reason. It is a safe place to be a little “blue” during the holidays. That post below could have been the poster child for why this service exists. Last year me and my little sister sang and played all the music for the service. I remember thinking that it should be nice but I am probably going to be sad for all the people that will be there. It turns out that God had me there for a reason. I was crying more then anyone and felt so much better after I left. Man, a good cry is so cleansing.

That brings me to something else…

What is the deal with guys crying? I wish guys would not be so judgmental about it. It really is not a big deal and it is so cleansing on so many levels. I remember my uncle laughing at me for crying at a baptism. I don’t cry when I hurt my finger but I do cry EVERYTIME I watch The Color Purple. So, is being in touch with your feelings or emotions a weakness? Well, I would rather be a weak wimp. I am not going to cry about that! HA HA!

Oh man, I need to see a therapist! :)

Same Cheer, Different Year.

It is already the 5th of December and the only thoughts I have had about Christmas are how the heck I am going to make it through and with what money am I to buy presents.

I get in a very bitter sweet mood around this time of year and yes I have many things happening in my life that are very sweet (OC Blog Awards, "AUTS" Contest Win) but it is hard to get past all of the bitter stuff.

Why is it that no matter how sweet the moment I seem to allow all of the bad memories and things that really upset me seep in? What gives? I just want a year when I actually have "Happy Holidays!"

When I think about the "Most Wonderful Time of the Year" I quickly remember back to the first Christmas that we had to go to Dad's on Christmas Day after spending Christmas Eve with Mom. It was such a strange transition and so sad to have to not have Dad around when I woke up Christmas morning and not to be with mom all day too. I wish divorce was never invented sometimes.

I remember the first Christmas without Grandma Rosa and the next Christmas without Grandma Lucy or Grandpa William. That was the first Christmas without any Grandparents at all. There is no relationship like those with your Grandparents. I was cheated out of my time with them and if yours are still around give them a second longer hug this year for me. I would love to have a few seconds with each one of them again. They were awesome!

I remember the first Christmas with Diabetes and how I hated not being able to drink a quart of egg nog. Egg nog is awesome and so are Christmas Cookies and Candies and all that other crap that I did not get. There is nothing worse then finding fruit in your stocking Christmas morn. Bummer.

I will never forget the sting of tears that first Christmas without my father. Those tears that sting so bad do not last as long anymore but each year they come back to remind me of how imperfect and incomplete my Christmas will always be. I miss him so much and this time of year makes me miss him even more.

I do remember the first Christmas as a married man, and the first Christmas as a father. Those are the best holidays to remember but damn it if those tears don't sneak their way in and haunt me every December.

Why can't I remember my little guys waking up at the crack of dawn, tearing open each gift with wonder and excitement in their eyes? Why is it that each time I close my eyes and see them laughing and hugging dolls, toys, and games that they "had to have" I open my eyes to tears of sadness?

Is it because my dad isn't here? Is it because my kids never sat in their Grandpa's lap? Because I wanted my Dad to be the awesome grandfather I know he would have been and now that will never happen? Is that why?

Yes, that is it.

I really hoped this year would be different.

I am Speechless!!!!!!!

Wow! All I can say is wow! I am so honored, flattered and surprised!

The B.A.D. blog has been nominated in 3 different catagories for the 2nd annual O.C. Blog Awards!

Best Male Blog
Best Type 1 Blog
and Best Blog!

I just do not feel worthy at all. I have always thought it was lame when people said, "It's an honor just to be nominated" but now I know what they mean! Wow!

If you have not voted yet then here is a link right to it! GET TO VOTING!