Ninjabetic Vlog - A Quick Goodbye

This is a short one. The last few have been pretty long so this one is short and to the point.

I Give Up

Today is Ash Wednesday and I always like to "give up" something for lent. In the past I have given up soda, red meat, cigarettes, & swearing among others during this time and come Easter Sunday, I am a burger eating, diet pepsi guzzling, camel smoking, potty mouth. Lovely right?

Well I thought that I would try this year to give up something and stick with giving it up throughout the rest of the year. Hopefully forever.

I am giving up the candy dishes in the office.

As of late I have been unwrapping bite sized chocolates all day long. Rolos, twix, kisses, and Hersey miniatures are always laying around and are always just an arms reach away. I with I had a camera phone so I can show you what it is like around here.

So far I have had some baby carrots when I started to crave the Cadbury chocolate eggs. And I have 3 bottles of water staring at me if the peanut M&M’s start calling me.

This is gonna be tough. Any suggestions??

You Tube Tuesday #109

Here is something all us diabetics know. When we party, we PARTY HARD!

Check out this wrecked 15.00 hotel room after a wild night of gambling, drinking, and driving. This guy is so wasted he doesn’t know what state he’s in! WOW!

 

 

THE CLIFFHANGER REVEAL VLOG!!!!!!!!

After you watch this clip, head over to Scott's blog to check out the other half of the story.

Also, these blogs below to get more info on the meet ups. ;)

Karen's Blog - Bitter-Sweet Diabetes
Cherise's Blog - Diabeticizme

I'm a WINNER!!!!!!!!!!

Back on January 20th, Amy of Diabetes Mine posted about a Diabetes Makeover Contest called “NEW YEAR, NEW YOU.” The contest Amy put together in conjunction with Insulite Laboratories offered the winners a 3 month Diabetes Advanced Management program. Insulite Laboratories offers this program as a way to help reduce weight, increase metabolism, reduce fatigue, reverse insulin resistance, an eliminate carbohydrate addiction. All things I need help with especially with the weight I have gained in the past year.

I wrote an essay on why I needed to win and I won. They awarded two type 2’s and one type 1, who would be ME! So. Cool.

This really falls in nicely to my “greatest week ever.” I was shocked when I saw my name on Amy’s post yesterday.

Here is the essay I wrote in its entirety. The more I read it, the more I see why I have been down so much. I see how much I needed this.


“I am fat. I have been overweight as long as I can remember. When I was in grammar school I was the “fat kid.” Sure I had lots of friends because I learned to turn my weight into a comedy routine and made everyone laugh at me. Although I would laugh with them my nights were filled with crying myself to sleep hating what I looked like and how I felt.

For years this went on until I was in high school and I started to lose weight incredibly fast and for no reason. Being in band required marching around for hours each day but I was still eating terribly so that wasn’t why I was losing. I was a teenager who drank soda all day and all night until one day at 160 pounds (down from 265) I almost passed out. My mother took me to the emergency room and I was diagnosed as a type 1 with a 504 blood sugar count.

After my BG got under control my weight came back on and I have been struggling since. A year after I was diagnosed my father died of a heart attack. He was 43. I turned to drugs, alcohol, and smoking to ease my pain and never cared much about my disease.

Years went by and the drugs and drinking stopped but the smoking continued. I eventually got married, had two kids, and still kept smoking and ignoring my diabetes. A few years ago I finally started to pay attention to my type 1 but with a poor education. I quit smoking soon after that and gained even more weight. Last year I lost 42 pounds on Weight Watchers which felt great. And then the economy hit my family hard and we lost our home.

That loss has been a major turning point in my life much like my father’s death and my diagnosis. Since this all happened my A1C has gone up, my weight has increase to what it was before Weight Watchers and at 35 years old, I feel like my time is running out, especially with my family history.

The thought of having a heart attack and leaving my wife to raise our kids by herself absolutely terrifies me. I know how every exciting moment in my life is bitter sweet because my father cannot be here and every difficult one a time I wish I could turn to him. I am determined to not do that to my kids. But I need help.

My sister got married this last weekend and my mother had to give her away. I danced with her in my fathers place and I cried like I did when each of my sisters were married. I want more then anything to be here to walk my daughter down the aisle, to play with my grand kids, and to grow old with my wife.

Help me to not be the fattest Type 1.”

You Tube Tuesday #108

This clip could be looked at as a PSA. I am guilty of doing this and I never knew the possible consequences. Beware.

Or this can be looked at as just a funny clip!

Enjoy.

Cliffhanger

What a weekend!

We went to Disneyland, got new tires, barbecued, celebrated two birthdays, went out to dinner, sang at church, and gave our dog a bath! Wow!

And now this week may be the busiest, craziest, out of controlist week on the planet!

ALL NINJA SKILLS WILL BE NEEDED.

The other part of all this craziness is that my posts will be a little thin this week. I will have a YTT up for tomorrow of course but after that, I am not sure how “around” I will be. Probably just random “tweets” on Twitter.

What is so cool is that it is ALL cool stuff that I cannot wait to tell you all about. A meetup. A trip. An interview. And that is just the beginning!

SO AWESOME!!!

Anyhow, I can hardly contain myself so I better stop this post soon before I spill the beans.

I promise to tell you all about everything as soon as I can.

Stick around, this is gonna be so cool.

Ninjabetic Vlog - All about blogging

Yesterday's post came from a weird place. I needed to talk about the things in this vlog to get my head straight.

And in the end, it turns into the strange sort of vlog that could only come from yours truly.

Enjoy.

The Third Degree

Last night was a long one. It was one of those nights when you look at the clock every 30 minutes or so and seem to get no sleep in between. One of those, “can’t turn off your brain” nights.

And I am feeling the effect of it now.

I would love to report that inability to stop my brain from thinking about stuff was because I was planning a really cool thing or going somewhere or even concerned about a big project at work. It wasn’t about money, marriage, church, the economy, or Lost.

My brain kept asking, what are you doing? Where are you going? Why do you do all the things you do? When are you going to stop?

Getting the third degree from yourself is strange. But I had this dialog for hours upon hours last night.

What are you doing?
As far as this blog goes I am not sure. At first it felt so important and relevant and I feel like it has lost something. I feel closer then ever to the online community of people with diabetes but I am not sure I am contributing the way I should. Or the way I could.

Where are you going?
I want to change something about this blog (besides the color scheme so Lisa can read it easier) but I am not sure what? I thought about changing the name of the blog but really, how “cool” is that? Not really a big deal. Not the change or growth I think I need to make.

Why do you do all the things you do? Like Twitter? Facebook? Blogabetes? I dunno. I had fun messing around on Facebook the other day but for what reason? Making a fool of myself? Making people laugh by acting like an idiot? Is that who I am? I guess I am good at it but is it fulfilling?

When are you going to stop?
I don’t want to.

Maybe you should?
I don’t want to.

Maybe a break?
No. I just need a refresher. A new outlook. A new beginning. Something new and different and cool.

Ok. What?
I dunno.

I have a weird stale feeling going on when I see this page and when I read my words. It may just be me?

I am open to any suggestions. Even if you tell me to quit, I am willing to hear it.

One Thing at a Time

Last night I was chatting with a good friend of mine about my struggles with weight loss.

He gave me some great tips that he uses to eat right, exercise, and stay healthy. One of the things he said was just to change one habit at a time for a few weeks then add more. Like to change my evening snack to something different then what I am doing now which is usually chomping on some carb snack like Chex Mix, Chips, or anything from any bakery.

What he said makes a lot of sense to me. Too often I have tried to change everything at once and that never seems to work.

As I was chatting with him I realized that I have never talked to him about this stuff and he is a very healthy guy. I should have talked to him a long time ago. He has been my close friend since high school and was around through my diagnosis. He knows me well. Maybe that is why.

He knows all of my typical excuses and what I usually do to squirm out of stuff. He knows how to kick my butt into gear. Maybe that is why I don’t turn to a lot of friends and family because I know they will hold me accountable.

Maybe that is why I only write about stuff I really want to change. There are many areas in my life that I would love advice about but I am too chicken to ask. I would much rather be the person to help others then be the one who gets help.

Pride? I don’t think so.

Fear? That is probably it.

Fear of having to get my shit together and fear of it falling apart.

So I am asking you now, honestly. How can I get over this fear?

You Tube Tuesday #107

Just watch this one. I thought it was so clever. You may have already seen it since it was posted a while ago but if not, I think you will dig it.

Enjoy!

It's Monday Meme Time

It’s Monday and I need another Sunday or at least a few more hours. I am just not ready for this week so I have decided to post a Meme. It has been a while and I read a very cool one on Karen’s blog this morning. Karen, for those of you who do not know, is awesome. Okay here is how the meme works.

This is the Letter meme and basically someone assigns you a letter and you write 10 things you like starting with that letter in no particular order. I was assigned the letter “S” so here it goes.

1. Simmons - It's my last name and I have always dug it. Although the Richard and Gene jokes get old. The mattresses are pretty good too.

2. Salisbury Steak - This is probably the only kind of steak I would ever ask for and it's not really steak. It like a burger in gravy. in other words, awesome.

3. Soda - Diet soda. Diet Pepsi. Diet Anything. yum.

4. Spring - Best season ever in my book. Easter and my birthday are in Spring!

5. Super Mario Bros. - One of the very few video games on the planet that I can complete practically every single time I play it.

6. Stevie Wonder - The singer of my theme song, if I was able to have music following me around as I say walked through a park or a busy street with a very intense look on my face.

7. Sir Duke - The song.

8. Songsmith - If you don't know what this is, click this link and check it out. You will love it too!

9. Scott - My middle name, the name I gave every stuffed animal or thing I had to name as a child, and my brother from another mother's name.

10. Steel Drums - Jasmine and I used to hang out in Pasadena and listen to a steel drummer play. Also, my favorite episode of Tom and Jerry, called Calypso Cat, featured a Steel Drumming cat. So funny.

Would you like to do the Letter Meme too? Just shoot me an email and I'll send you a letter. I promise I won't use a difficult one like Q or X but I might pick Z so beware.

A Shout Out

I wrote a post over at Blogabetes about last night and some disturbing new complications I am facing. And at the end of the post I mention the subject of this post.

My wife.

Now, I am not writing this post to make up for not doing the dishes or for buying a crappy anniversary gift. I am not even writing this post to her as much as I am writing to all of us that have husbands, wives, partners, best friends, kids, and other type 3’s who love us and are there for us.

I am lucky. My wife lets me live with her. That was a joke kids. But last night she helped me not only to feel a little better but to help identify something that I could have missed.

As I was drifting off into sleep I was thinking, (as I do often) “I don’t think I could do this without her?” I mean, I did not marry her for her type 3 skills but she has woken me up when I have not gotten up. She has gotten me glucose when I could not stand up, and she called 911 when I was suffering from DKA.

So who are your type 3’s? A mom back home. A roommate? A Boyfriend? Your sibling? Have you taken time to thank them?

To be honest, I never thank Jasmine for what she does for me until she is bringing me a PB n’ J at 3AM. That is not cool.

So honey, thank you for loving and taking care of me and this stupid disease. Hopefully one day when there is a cure, we will both get a good night’s sleep.

Thanks for Yesterday

It turns out yesterdays appointment was just a consultation and now the neurologist put in for a referral for the scary test. So, I wasted everyone’s time worrying and all my energy freaking out. But now, I have to wait for another day to come and KNOW that the needle thing is in my future. Not even as a “hope not” kind of thing. Bummer.

On a side note, all of the comments and tweets I received yesterday really helped calm me while I was in the office. Every comment. Every. Single. One. Means so much to me. Thank you all for all your support yesterday and always.

So now onto other stuff.

Landileigh has announced the next challenge for us "Biggest Losers." We are supposed to make a video or send a picture with a “L” shape on our forehead. You know the “Laahoooosserr” L? yeah that is the one.

Since I saw the email I have been thinking of how to do it. I think I have a plan. I should have something to show tomorrow.

I hope.

Kind of Freaked Out

Today is my appointment with the neurologist and I am a little freaked out.

Surgery, Tests, Procedures, whatever you want to call them do not normally freak me out. I typically say, "do whatever you need to do. Just fix me."

But today is different because the single worst most disturbing test I have ever had, ever, was at the neurologist.

If anyone has ever had a nerve conduction study done to them before please tell me you had a good experience and my first one was just a fluke.

I just remember watching the tech darting, DARTING, 3 needles (like needles for sewing leather together) into my upper arm and then sending an electric charge that made every muscle from my arm to the tips of my fingers tighten at the same time. Like a stun gun. Then he pulled those needles out and darted them into my forearm and did the same thing. Then on to my hand.

He looked at me and said, “Now I have to do the other arm.” The tech said it in a low voice, almost apologetic but I swear he hated me. Why else would he continue? :)

No joke, when I heard those words a single tear ran down my right check and I said, “alright.”

I almost wanted to call for my mommy to come sit with me. It was that bad! Pain is not a big deal for me but this was like torture.

Maybe I have it wrong. Maybe some of you had a good or painless experience. Please let me know because the way I see it, this afternoon is going to be tough.

You Tube Tuesday #106

So this is another musical You Tube Tuesday. But this song has a message for us all. Or at least some instructions that we can follow to make our day a little better.

Enjoy!

I have a runner up clip this week brought to my attention by my friend Landileigh. Check it out!

The Wedding Recap

Friday night was the rehearsal and dinner. The rehearsal went well and this being the 11th wedding I have been in (not including my own) I pretty much knew what was going to happen. After the rehearsal we went to dinner at “The Old Spaghetti Factory.” I ordered what I always get, Tortellini Alfredo. It was fantastic as was the night. We had a lot of fun laughing and carrying on.; In fact, my future brother in law bought me the perfect “best man” gift I could ask for.

A Snuggie. If you ever find yourself having to go shopping for someone as strange as I, you can’t do much better then an item with “As Seen On TV” on the box. I love that crap.

Saturday was a very long but great day. I hope to get some more pictures soon to share with you all but first here is a picture of me and the groom getting ready at his house. My son George, one of the groomsmen, took these pics.
The wedding went off without a hitch except for maybe one little bump in the road provided by yours truly. During the mass when you are supposed to show a sign of peace to one another, I stepped over and gave my sister (the bride) a kiss on the cheek and when I did, my glasses knocked her fake eyelashes out of wack a little. She blinked about a hundred times in 10 seconds while I prayed her lash would not flip off. Can’t have a bride who looks like the guy from A Clockwork Orange! She was able to stick it back in place thank God. I was sure my sister was going to kill me afterwards but it was all good.

The reception was a blast. We started off with my speech in which I do remember getting some laughs, talking about how their marriage will be full of Mountain tops and Valley but that those ups and downs provide a contrast and allow you to appreciate all you go through knowing what you should be thankful for when things are good and that when times are low, what you can accomplish together and I do remember ending the speech with the toast that went “To Anna and Steve. May your mountains be tall, your valleys short, and the landscape of your lives together, beautiful.”

Now that I read that it sounds like a Hallmark Card but whatever. Oh well. I am a cheese ball.

Since my father has passed my mother gave my sister away. For the traditional parents dance, I danced with my sister and my mom danced with Steve (groom). We danced to my parents song, Misty by Johnny Mathis. Then the wedding party danced to U Can’t Touch This by Hammer which was fun. We did the Chicken dance, the electric slide, a Soul Train dance line, and I have now mastered the Soljah Boy (thanks Lindsey)!

If you never seen a ninja in a Conga Line, check this out! “Feel the rhythm of the music getting stronga!” Only Gloria could rhyme “stronger” and “Conga.”

My favorite part of the night was close to the end of the reception. All of the party had left except for My sisters, their spouses, and our kids. When Always and Forever by Heatwave came on all four of us grabbed our spouses and hit the dance floor. I looked around to see my sisters all with their husbands, all happy and I got choked up. I could almost feel my dad staring down on us smiling as we all sang as loud as we could to the loves our lives.

“And we’ll spend tomorrow together! I’ll always love you, forever!”

George told me later that seeing all of us was the coolest part of the night. I agreed, I think all my sisters could agree on that. It was a special moment.